I know 1/2 of y'all don't care, but for those that do:
I'm happy!
I'm happy because I have some peace in my life. My sister once told me that peace is precious! The older I get, the more I understand! I really value having peace of mind/spirit/soul/etc I have learned to dislike living in chaos ESPECIALLY chaos that I've created for myself. Every area of my life is not sorted out BUT I am at peace with where things are. I have some serious inner demons that I'm fighting through BUT I am at peace because I know that God loves and cares about me regardless!
I'm happy because I get to go home. They say home is where the heart is, they ain't NEVA lied lol
I've missed EVERYONE, I've been out here in the Arctic BY MYSELF for 7 months & I CANNOT wait to come home :)
That's pretty much it, I'm happy and I know *claps my hands*
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
24
So at 12am, I turn 24 yours old!
Tonight really does begin a new chapter in my life. I think the Lord is telling me that this will be a year of "firsts":
1) my FIRST time celebrating my birthday away from family/friends
2) my FIRST b-day not being able to go visit my cousin's grave (weird, I know BUT it gives me peace & makes me feel like we still get to celebrate together... don't judge me)
3) my FIRST time spending my birthday is a different time zone
This is ALL new to me! Part of me is excited because it is a new leaf BUT the other part of me is scared.
Scared of what is to come, what is my future?
Will I have to spend another birthday alone?
Will I EVER come to grips with losing my cousin?
Will I ever be able to forgive my step-dad?
I'm just a big ball of questions these days HOWEVER I know 2 things to be TRUE:
1) With older age should come growth & maturity and I'm going to take this time alone to really evaluate myself and my life so far. Some of my past/present vices, demons, qualms, hiccups, etc need to pass away. I think most of them I'll probably battle inwardly throughout life BUT others' are just my fleshly desires and honestly, sins that I like committing (don't judge me).
2) The Lord loves me and wants what's best for me. I saw a status from Sarah that said, "
Tonight really does begin a new chapter in my life. I think the Lord is telling me that this will be a year of "firsts":
1) my FIRST time celebrating my birthday away from family/friends
2) my FIRST b-day not being able to go visit my cousin's grave (weird, I know BUT it gives me peace & makes me feel like we still get to celebrate together... don't judge me)
3) my FIRST time spending my birthday is a different time zone
This is ALL new to me! Part of me is excited because it is a new leaf BUT the other part of me is scared.
Scared of what is to come, what is my future?
Will I have to spend another birthday alone?
Will I EVER come to grips with losing my cousin?
Will I ever be able to forgive my step-dad?
I'm just a big ball of questions these days HOWEVER I know 2 things to be TRUE:
1) With older age should come growth & maturity and I'm going to take this time alone to really evaluate myself and my life so far. Some of my past/present vices, demons, qualms, hiccups, etc need to pass away. I think most of them I'll probably battle inwardly throughout life BUT others' are just my fleshly desires and honestly, sins that I like committing (don't judge me).
2) The Lord loves me and wants what's best for me. I saw a status from Sarah that said, "
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Compilations of my heart
Well since I've been in my feelings lately, might as well let y'all know what I've been listening too that's been keeping me there ... NOW before you play ANY of these songs LOL know that they put/keep me in my feelings SOOOO unless you're good as staying out of yours ... you should leave this blog... NOW lol
1st is Justin Bieber and Jaden Smith cover of "Thinking about you" ---
"People just say live in the moment, don't be scared.....Everyday that I don't see you, you're slipping away"
Anyway, I LOVE the original version & I also LOVE Bridgette Kelly version w/ Frank Ocean, you should yo youtube those...NOW
"Tell you I love you everyday and that'll never stop, They say that it's true love, but is love true? Yea I think it's love, that's why I found you"
.... This song is a PROBLEM!
2nd
Drake "Doing it Wrong"
"So cry if you need to, but I can't stay to watch you, that's the wrong thing to do
Touch if you need to, but I can't stay to hold you, that's the wrong thing to do
Talk if you need to but I can't stay to hear you, that's the wrong thing to do
cuz you'll say you love me and I'll end up lying & say I love you too"
Ummmmm we all try to be the "good girl/guy" or the "Captain save a hoe" but the things is ... in the end "it's the wrong thing to do" b/c all we're really doing and giving the person hope and making them think there is a future between ya'll when that may not be reality. So, going back to my poem from yesterday....Quit sending mixed messages, if you're done w/ a person- LET THEM GO so that they can LET YOU GO & MOVE on w/ their life.
The wrong things to do:
-Send text saying you miss/love them, wish things could be different, etc ...
-E-mail poems, electronic cards, etc ....
-Call them to ask how they are doing & leave a voicemail
You think you're making it better BUT honestly, you're causing them more pain & it makes it harder to let u go #thatisall
3rd:
Beyonce "I'd rather go blind" - #1 You need to see Cadillac records to fully understand the pain in this song.
#2 I can't think of stronger lyrics than "I'd rather be blind than to see you walk away from me", I feel like you can ONLY write lyrics like that IF you fully understand how you can love someone SOOO much and for SOOO long, that you don't even think you can ever see ANYONE, ANYTHING, ANY other person the same w/out them ... essentially leaving you BLIND!
"I love you so much that I don't want to watch you leave me, MOST OF ALL I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE FREE" --- "want to be free"???? this implies that you are CHOOSING to stay in bondage, entangled, in love .... WOW!
I'm not a psychologist, therapist, psychiatrist, etc. But I am human and I understand Love. I understand what happens when you love someone & they don't love you back, anymore.... It can drive you insane!
Words from my heart
I loved you more
More than life
Deeper than the ocean
I loved you wholly
I was confused but I still loved no one but you
you entangled me,
made me compliant,
I was forced to bend to your will.
You made me fall in love with you
....
Then you left
Left me emotionally vulnerable
I can't love anyone else b/c I'm STILL too busy loving you
You made me dependent on "us"
then you abandoned "us"
.....
Now I'm nothing
I hear from you sporadically, always on your time
I hear from you when you NEED something, or god forbid you need me
....
and what do I do?
....
I'm still waiting 4 you to love me again
Still standing here waiting for you
Waiting for Sade
Hoping that this impressionable young girl will eventually bloom
Waiting for you
Waiting for LOVE
....
The kind of Love that can save me from loving you
The kind of Love that can heal me from missing you
The kind of Love that can make me forget you
....
Looking for Love in all the wrong places ...
b/c if I'm honest w/ myself, I'm still
Looking for YOU!
More than life
Deeper than the ocean
I loved you wholly
I was confused but I still loved no one but you
you entangled me,
made me compliant,
I was forced to bend to your will.
You made me fall in love with you
....
Then you left
Left me emotionally vulnerable
I can't love anyone else b/c I'm STILL too busy loving you
You made me dependent on "us"
then you abandoned "us"
.....
Now I'm nothing
I hear from you sporadically, always on your time
I hear from you when you NEED something, or god forbid you need me
....
and what do I do?
....
I'm still waiting 4 you to love me again
Still standing here waiting for you
Waiting for Sade
Hoping that this impressionable young girl will eventually bloom
Waiting for you
Waiting for LOVE
....
The kind of Love that can save me from loving you
The kind of Love that can heal me from missing you
The kind of Love that can make me forget you
....
Looking for Love in all the wrong places ...
b/c if I'm honest w/ myself, I'm still
Looking for YOU!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The Deal
I sat here lamenting b/c I'm not going to be able to be in NC for my birthday (Nov 23rd) and Thanksgiving :( I've NEVER spent a birthday away from my family & friends and I'm going through A LOT of separation anxiety. Having a birthday dinner ALONE, makes me feel lonely.....
THEN I snapped out of it!
I reflected on where I was my last birthday. I had my "Jordan Year (23)" and had NOTHING to show for it. No degree, no "real" job, living paycheck to paycheck, drinking to soothe my pains, and praying that I could live a better life. Praying that I could be a better person and provide for my family.
THEN I was presented with an opportunity...
To go on a quest, like the greek and roman gods, a quest to become who I'm supposed to be. Leaving my sheltered world and meeting new people, seeing new places, & finding Sade.
I took the opportunity
Opportunity Cost: (I hated Econ 101 BUT I remember this lesson vividly) "The opportunity cost is also the cost of the forgone products after making a choice. Opportunity cost is a key concept in economics, and has been described as expressing "the basic relationship between scarcity and choice".The notion of opportunity cost plays a crucial part in ensuring that scarce resources are used efficiently.Thus, opportunity costs are not restricted to monetary or financial costs: the real cost of output forgone, lost time, pleasure or any other benefit that provides utility should also be considered opportunity costs" (Wikipedia).
What does it all really mean?
I begged God to change me and change my situation. He did! I accepted His blessing. I'm not doing "great" by any means BUT I'm networking, growing my financial portfolio,& expanding my resume. So I'm doing BETTER than I was a year ago.
He did His part BUT with blessings comes growth & maturity. And there is ALWAYS a price to pay. I accepted this price when I took "The Deal" BUT living with it is totally different.
Anyway, I wrote this blog to let ya'll know, I am NO LONGER going to lament about not being in NC for my bday, Thanksgiving or anything else. I'm where I'm supposed to be, ALONE. On a journey to the depths of Sade. I miss ya'll & I know ya'll miss me BUT what I'm gaining out here is far more than what NC had to offer me- I'm growing up!
THEN I snapped out of it!
I reflected on where I was my last birthday. I had my "Jordan Year (23)" and had NOTHING to show for it. No degree, no "real" job, living paycheck to paycheck, drinking to soothe my pains, and praying that I could live a better life. Praying that I could be a better person and provide for my family.
THEN I was presented with an opportunity...
To go on a quest, like the greek and roman gods, a quest to become who I'm supposed to be. Leaving my sheltered world and meeting new people, seeing new places, & finding Sade.
I took the opportunity
Opportunity Cost: (I hated Econ 101 BUT I remember this lesson vividly) "The opportunity cost is also the cost of the forgone products after making a choice. Opportunity cost is a key concept in economics, and has been described as expressing "the basic relationship between scarcity and choice".The notion of opportunity cost plays a crucial part in ensuring that scarce resources are used efficiently.Thus, opportunity costs are not restricted to monetary or financial costs: the real cost of output forgone, lost time, pleasure or any other benefit that provides utility should also be considered opportunity costs" (Wikipedia).
What does it all really mean?
I begged God to change me and change my situation. He did! I accepted His blessing. I'm not doing "great" by any means BUT I'm networking, growing my financial portfolio,& expanding my resume. So I'm doing BETTER than I was a year ago.
He did His part BUT with blessings comes growth & maturity. And there is ALWAYS a price to pay. I accepted this price when I took "The Deal" BUT living with it is totally different.
Anyway, I wrote this blog to let ya'll know, I am NO LONGER going to lament about not being in NC for my bday, Thanksgiving or anything else. I'm where I'm supposed to be, ALONE. On a journey to the depths of Sade. I miss ya'll & I know ya'll miss me BUT what I'm gaining out here is far more than what NC had to offer me- I'm growing up!
Live.
Greetings,
Normally, I like to keep my blog fun & entertaining while sending y'all some life lessons that I've learned HOWEVER, today I'm going to be more on the serious side. Today's topic is about the GREATEST gift that God gives us, LIFE!
April 8, 2007:
Less than a month ago, I buried my bday twin/cousin. Less than 2 weeks prior, I buried my great-grandmother. This day, the day our savior rose from the grave- I no longer wanted to live. I had borrowed someones car & then locked the keys in the car. Couldn't get a tow truck, campus police, carrboro police to open the door b/c it was Easter and the police "can't do it" because there was no imminent danger to a child. The car was stolen.
April 9, 2007:
My purse was in the car, my wallet, my books for school, my life. The other person's papers for work and class. I remember walking around the corner where I left the car parked and seeing.... NOTHING but shattered glass on the ground. I lost my breath!
My grades were slipping, my cousin was gone, my great-grandmother was gone, my identity (wallet, purse, etc) was stolen. More importantly, I could NEVER get that person's car back .... and it was my fault.
I was dropped off at Hinton James North, I was crying, I couldn't see out my own eyes. The weight of the world was upon on 19 year old shoulders & the weight became unbearable...
I considered my options silently. Would I buy a gun on Franklin street and shoot myself? Nah, I might end up in jail
Would I hang myself from my bed? Nah, I'm short but I'm not THAT short
I needed something to take the pain away.
I walked into Hinton James North, with all intentions of never walking out...
I got to my room. My suite mate tried to console me .... I told her to get out of my room & she left.
I took pills as I wrote a letter to the ones I loved the most. I understood that I was about to commit was a sin BUT I didn't care. I needed to tell my story, I needed to apologize b/c the car getting stolen was my fault. I needed to provide my mom with the answer to "why"...
I got to pill #4, I was drowsy... the room was spinning... everything was unclear.
I went to my suites mates room and sat down on the futon as she folded her laundry.
*I remember bits and pieces of the rest*
I woke up with needles in my arms, doctors talking, my mother crying and my step father in the room. They wanted to commit me to psych ward. My mom begged them to let her take me home. They refused. I was put in a wheel chair & wheeled down a white hallway, my mom signing papers & crying. I remember feeling sad.
April 10, 2007:
I woke up! They didn't have room on the psych ward, so they put me on the eating disorder floor. I woke up to anorexic girls that knew that I CLEARLY wasn't there for the same reason they were. My suite mate bought my clothes to the hospital.
I spent 3 days and 2 nights of my life on suicide watch. Supervised showers, no shoe strings in my timberland boots, all visiotrs had to have a code-word, nurses checked my vitals in the middle of the night, being pumped with anti-depressants, nurses made sure u swallowed your meds. I was crazy!
It was in those 3 days my life changed, FOREVER.
I wanted to feel the sun in the spring, I wanted to touch the plants, I wanted to shower w/out being watched, I didn't want to HAVE to have "art time", "TV time", "quiet time", "group time" etc.
I wrote this blog b/c suicide is real. I could have died that day in HJ North. Shoot, I wanted to die that day in HJ North. Someone that I know is struggling with wanting to live. I am sharing my story in hopes that it will save you!
I got my first tattoo b/c to me it represents Jesus dying and God raising him from the dead i.e. Easter. I was as good as dead & God bought me back to life.
Cherish your life. It gets hard, but enjoy the gift. Smell the flowers, play in the snow, dance in the rain, feel life's highs & lows ... you're human and more importantly you're LIVING.
Live.Laugh.Love
- Uniqua
Normally, I like to keep my blog fun & entertaining while sending y'all some life lessons that I've learned HOWEVER, today I'm going to be more on the serious side. Today's topic is about the GREATEST gift that God gives us, LIFE!
April 8, 2007:
Less than a month ago, I buried my bday twin/cousin. Less than 2 weeks prior, I buried my great-grandmother. This day, the day our savior rose from the grave- I no longer wanted to live. I had borrowed someones car & then locked the keys in the car. Couldn't get a tow truck, campus police, carrboro police to open the door b/c it was Easter and the police "can't do it" because there was no imminent danger to a child. The car was stolen.
April 9, 2007:
My purse was in the car, my wallet, my books for school, my life. The other person's papers for work and class. I remember walking around the corner where I left the car parked and seeing.... NOTHING but shattered glass on the ground. I lost my breath!
My grades were slipping, my cousin was gone, my great-grandmother was gone, my identity (wallet, purse, etc) was stolen. More importantly, I could NEVER get that person's car back .... and it was my fault.
I was dropped off at Hinton James North, I was crying, I couldn't see out my own eyes. The weight of the world was upon on 19 year old shoulders & the weight became unbearable...
I considered my options silently. Would I buy a gun on Franklin street and shoot myself? Nah, I might end up in jail
Would I hang myself from my bed? Nah, I'm short but I'm not THAT short
I needed something to take the pain away.
I walked into Hinton James North, with all intentions of never walking out...
I got to my room. My suite mate tried to console me .... I told her to get out of my room & she left.
I took pills as I wrote a letter to the ones I loved the most. I understood that I was about to commit was a sin BUT I didn't care. I needed to tell my story, I needed to apologize b/c the car getting stolen was my fault. I needed to provide my mom with the answer to "why"...
I got to pill #4, I was drowsy... the room was spinning... everything was unclear.
I went to my suites mates room and sat down on the futon as she folded her laundry.
*I remember bits and pieces of the rest*
I woke up with needles in my arms, doctors talking, my mother crying and my step father in the room. They wanted to commit me to psych ward. My mom begged them to let her take me home. They refused. I was put in a wheel chair & wheeled down a white hallway, my mom signing papers & crying. I remember feeling sad.
April 10, 2007:
I woke up! They didn't have room on the psych ward, so they put me on the eating disorder floor. I woke up to anorexic girls that knew that I CLEARLY wasn't there for the same reason they were. My suite mate bought my clothes to the hospital.
I spent 3 days and 2 nights of my life on suicide watch. Supervised showers, no shoe strings in my timberland boots, all visiotrs had to have a code-word, nurses checked my vitals in the middle of the night, being pumped with anti-depressants, nurses made sure u swallowed your meds. I was crazy!
It was in those 3 days my life changed, FOREVER.
I wanted to feel the sun in the spring, I wanted to touch the plants, I wanted to shower w/out being watched, I didn't want to HAVE to have "art time", "TV time", "quiet time", "group time" etc.
I wrote this blog b/c suicide is real. I could have died that day in HJ North. Shoot, I wanted to die that day in HJ North. Someone that I know is struggling with wanting to live. I am sharing my story in hopes that it will save you!
I got my first tattoo b/c to me it represents Jesus dying and God raising him from the dead i.e. Easter. I was as good as dead & God bought me back to life.
Cherish your life. It gets hard, but enjoy the gift. Smell the flowers, play in the snow, dance in the rain, feel life's highs & lows ... you're human and more importantly you're LIVING.
Live.Laugh.Love
- Uniqua
Friday, November 4, 2011
Eat. Pray. Love. Updates
Hello, hello, hello, hello, black America
Just wanted to update ya'll on my life, since I have been forsaking ya'll. I've been working HARD in these streets but I did miss ya'll. I haven't been home since July and I miss EVERYBODY.... like for real, EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still working out logistics BUT right now I probably won't be back in NC until Dec :( Anyways, I came out here 2 the mid-west to Eat, Pray & Love soooo imma update ya'll
Eat:
Yo, Chicago is AMAZINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!! I've had Thai food for the first time (DELICIOUS), REAL Chicago pizza (which puts pizza hut, papa johns, etc, to SHAME), I ate at Famous Dave's (bruh competed on Food Nework & ya'll know i <3 food network), They have Gryos on EVERY corner! I had a Gyro cheeseburger for the first time .... YUMO! The only thing I haven't branched out to try yet isssss "Italian Beef" <<< yo it's WET MEAT/BREAD .... reminds me of Quizno's (which I don't eat) ... they dunk a sandwich in wetness and something about eating soggy bread w/ wet meat doesn't sounds delicious!!!!! Needless to say, I've been eating good!!!!
Pray:
Yea........ not so much! SMH ... I'm sure God hitting me w/ the -____- . Anyway, I left everything I loved to find Sade. I'm supposed to be seeking after God so that He can show me, ME. I forgot that :( Soooo I've been doing better lately, reading self-help books and praying so that I can become a better person. For those that don't know I'm currently reading "Yesterday, I cried" by Iyanla Vanzant .... GREAT book. I'm on Chapter 7 so I'm about 1/2 way done but overall, I LOVE IT! It has been awhile since I've cried BUT I remember when I cried EVERYDAY. I remember not knowing how I was going to pay my bills, eat, get gas, etc. I recall what sadness felt like and this book is helping we explore my emotional side :) So, yes, I fell off with focusing on my relationship with God BUT I promise ya'll I'm getting back on track :)
Love:
......................................................... lol, ya'll KNOW how I feel about my personal life lol I like to keep it PERSONAL. What I will say is that I've met some AMAZING people in Chicago! I've taken every person that I've met as a life professor and they've really helped me learn! I'm opening to people, I'm allowing people fully & totally in my life/heart and it is a great feeling to be loved back ;) So I'll suffice it so say.... I have the "Love" part down-packed!
Iight, Well that's all I got right now! I hope everyone else is doing well, chasing ya dreams so that they can become a reality! I <3 ya'll and I PROMISE not to take this long to blog again :)
<3
Just wanted to update ya'll on my life, since I have been forsaking ya'll. I've been working HARD in these streets but I did miss ya'll. I haven't been home since July and I miss EVERYBODY.... like for real, EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still working out logistics BUT right now I probably won't be back in NC until Dec :( Anyways, I came out here 2 the mid-west to Eat, Pray & Love soooo imma update ya'll
Eat:
Yo, Chicago is AMAZINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!! I've had Thai food for the first time (DELICIOUS), REAL Chicago pizza (which puts pizza hut, papa johns, etc, to SHAME), I ate at Famous Dave's (bruh competed on Food Nework & ya'll know i <3 food network), They have Gryos on EVERY corner! I had a Gyro cheeseburger for the first time .... YUMO! The only thing I haven't branched out to try yet isssss "Italian Beef" <<< yo it's WET MEAT/BREAD .... reminds me of Quizno's (which I don't eat) ... they dunk a sandwich in wetness and something about eating soggy bread w/ wet meat doesn't sounds delicious!!!!! Needless to say, I've been eating good!!!!
Pray:
Yea........ not so much! SMH ... I'm sure God hitting me w/ the -____- . Anyway, I left everything I loved to find Sade. I'm supposed to be seeking after God so that He can show me, ME. I forgot that :( Soooo I've been doing better lately, reading self-help books and praying so that I can become a better person. For those that don't know I'm currently reading "Yesterday, I cried" by Iyanla Vanzant .... GREAT book. I'm on Chapter 7 so I'm about 1/2 way done but overall, I LOVE IT! It has been awhile since I've cried BUT I remember when I cried EVERYDAY. I remember not knowing how I was going to pay my bills, eat, get gas, etc. I recall what sadness felt like and this book is helping we explore my emotional side :) So, yes, I fell off with focusing on my relationship with God BUT I promise ya'll I'm getting back on track :)
Love:
......................................................... lol, ya'll KNOW how I feel about my personal life lol I like to keep it PERSONAL. What I will say is that I've met some AMAZING people in Chicago! I've taken every person that I've met as a life professor and they've really helped me learn! I'm opening to people, I'm allowing people fully & totally in my life/heart and it is a great feeling to be loved back ;) So I'll suffice it so say.... I have the "Love" part down-packed!
Iight, Well that's all I got right now! I hope everyone else is doing well, chasing ya dreams so that they can become a reality! I <3 ya'll and I PROMISE not to take this long to blog again :)
<3
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Letters to My Siblings ....Maya The Bee
Maya,
First,
HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
I hope you had the BEST birthday, EVER & I wish you MANY MANY MANY more!
Secondly,
I love you! I Love you more than I could ever texts, write on your wall, send you post cards, etc.... I just simply love you!
I'd NEVER-EVER try to replace your sister BUT know that I love you like my little sister. Shoot, you deserve a "Thank You" for sharing your big sister with me lol :) I KNOW she too is soooo proud of the woman you've become!
Lastly,
Thank You! Thank you for being there for my mother, brother & sister during their life trials. As if you don't have enough on YOUR plate .... I'm 1000 miles away soooo who's been helping my family? YOU! I am FOREVER indebted to you. So to end this letter, I leave you with the quote below....
"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." ~Clara Ortega
Love,
Sade
First,
HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
I hope you had the BEST birthday, EVER & I wish you MANY MANY MANY more!
Secondly,
I love you! I Love you more than I could ever texts, write on your wall, send you post cards, etc.... I just simply love you!
There is NO ONE that I know that is stronger that YOU! You're a mother, sister, auntie, cousin and none of this was YOUR choice yet you bear the weight as if it were a feather. I've been with you at TOO many funerals & when life seems lowest BUT I've seen you bounce back with grace and poise. You inspire me to get my life together! I STILL can't figure out how you find time to: wake up early, get Naja & Matthias ready, go to class, go to work, do your homework, write your papers, pick them up, help with their homework, clean them up, put them to bed and then DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN???? You are MY Superwoman!
I'd NEVER-EVER try to replace your sister BUT know that I love you like my little sister. Shoot, you deserve a "Thank You" for sharing your big sister with me lol :) I KNOW she too is soooo proud of the woman you've become!
Lastly,
Thank You! Thank you for being there for my mother, brother & sister during their life trials. As if you don't have enough on YOUR plate .... I'm 1000 miles away soooo who's been helping my family? YOU! I am FOREVER indebted to you. So to end this letter, I leave you with the quote below....
"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." ~Clara Ortega
Love,
Sade
Monday, September 5, 2011
Change of Heart
So, in one of my older blogs I wrote a letter to my biological father ( http://uniquecadence.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-24-part-2-o-father-where-art.html ) and within this blog I asked a question that a lot of this generation toggles with "it is better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved?" and I ALWAYS respond with it is better to have loved & lost" because at least you have experienced LOVE.
Today, I've changed my mind. It is better to have NEVER loved than to have love ripped away from you! Why you ask?
I went to Ohio this weekend to visit my lil cousins and I realized.... I rather not know who my father is from "who shot John" than to KNOW my father and he never calls, never text, never makes an effort to TRY to love me!
Thank God the kids aren't bitter and in fact they are hopeful that their dad will "come around" BUT my heart was sooooooo hurt to know that a man in MY family has caused them pain, hurts me beyond belief!!
What kind of man deserts his responsibility to raise HIS kids???? I wish someone could help me understand how you choose not to love someone that wouldn't be here if it weren't for YOU!!! That's YOUR blood in their veins, YOUR DNA... How can you ignore yourself?
I'll never get an answer and I'm ok with that b/c in all honesty, my uncle doesn't HAVE to answer to me. But what I can guarantee is that he will have to answer to his kids one day. In the meantime, I'll pray that when they grow up, they aren't anything like Sade b/c Sade would choose to NEVER answer the phone, respond to a letter, text back, or anything else b/c clearly you proved that you don't care anything about me! But again, I hope they are more forgiving...
Lastly, To all the deadbeats out there (Including any in my family), I hope you NEVER get another wink of sleep until you repair the relationship between you are your children!
<3, Sade
Today, I've changed my mind. It is better to have NEVER loved than to have love ripped away from you! Why you ask?
I went to Ohio this weekend to visit my lil cousins and I realized.... I rather not know who my father is from "who shot John" than to KNOW my father and he never calls, never text, never makes an effort to TRY to love me!
Thank God the kids aren't bitter and in fact they are hopeful that their dad will "come around" BUT my heart was sooooooo hurt to know that a man in MY family has caused them pain, hurts me beyond belief!!
What kind of man deserts his responsibility to raise HIS kids???? I wish someone could help me understand how you choose not to love someone that wouldn't be here if it weren't for YOU!!! That's YOUR blood in their veins, YOUR DNA... How can you ignore yourself?
I'll never get an answer and I'm ok with that b/c in all honesty, my uncle doesn't HAVE to answer to me. But what I can guarantee is that he will have to answer to his kids one day. In the meantime, I'll pray that when they grow up, they aren't anything like Sade b/c Sade would choose to NEVER answer the phone, respond to a letter, text back, or anything else b/c clearly you proved that you don't care anything about me! But again, I hope they are more forgiving...
Lastly, To all the deadbeats out there (Including any in my family), I hope you NEVER get another wink of sleep until you repair the relationship between you are your children!
<3, Sade
Friday, August 26, 2011
Day 15 of 26 .... Cliche' (N)
Day 15: A word or cliche that people say and you hate it.
"Fake it til you Make it"
I absolutely HATE this cliche'. Why? because my follow up question for this cliche' is ... What IF you DON'T make it? Call me a pessimist, faithless, or even a negative Nancy but, I prefer to be considered a REALIST!
The reality of it all is being fake will NEVER get you anywhere. I think it's ignorant to waste your time faking it, when what you SHOULD be doing is planning, setting goals so you can map out a trajectory to "making it". Instead of wasting your time and money trying to look like you have it all together.....
Today's Letter is 'N'
I'm going with "Nobody Knows it but me" - Baby Face <<< I know it's a throw back BUT I love his music and I think RnB is becoming a lost art :(
"Fake it til you Make it"
I absolutely HATE this cliche'. Why? because my follow up question for this cliche' is ... What IF you DON'T make it? Call me a pessimist, faithless, or even a negative Nancy but, I prefer to be considered a REALIST!
The reality of it all is being fake will NEVER get you anywhere. I think it's ignorant to waste your time faking it, when what you SHOULD be doing is planning, setting goals so you can map out a trajectory to "making it". Instead of wasting your time and money trying to look like you have it all together.....
Today's Letter is 'N'
I'm going with "Nobody Knows it but me" - Baby Face <<< I know it's a throw back BUT I love his music and I think RnB is becoming a lost art :(
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Text in my inbox (M)
Day 14: Last ten texts in your inbox.
I think this has been the most weird of all the prompts I've seen. More importantly, it could lead to ALL KINDS of trouble *evil villain laugh* anyway: (imma go most recent to oldest verbatim then a brief background)
1) "Oh wht time u gettin off?" <<< self explanatory
2) "haha I was just tryna be helpful" <<<someone told me something I already knew
3) "awwwwwwww" <<< I sent them a photo
4) "True..." <<< I was talking about work
5) "I'm gonna call her" <<< tryna get somebody put on at my job
6) "ohmygoodness! I love it! Super cute and professional" <<< I sent them the same photo
7) "ok ill wait tillbu hit me up then" <<< I told him to give me some space
8) "where are you located" <<< self explanatory
9) Red Box sent me a free DVD code .... I will be using it tonight :)
10) "nah. haven't been on fb or twitter. What's the blog abt? And who?" <<< I blogged about them & they hadn't seen it yet SMH
*wipes forehead* Glad there wasn't anything "bad" in there ;)
Part II:
Today's Letter is "M"
Well, gotta show respect where respect is due ... today's song is "Motivation" - Kelly Rowland & Weezy <<<< such an addictive song (So addictive, my grandma knows it SMH)..... I'm still working on the gospel version ... s/o 2 my "what key are we gonna be in" crew
I think this has been the most weird of all the prompts I've seen. More importantly, it could lead to ALL KINDS of trouble *evil villain laugh* anyway: (imma go most recent to oldest verbatim then a brief background)
1) "Oh wht time u gettin off?" <<< self explanatory
2) "haha I was just tryna be helpful" <<<someone told me something I already knew
3) "awwwwwwww" <<< I sent them a photo
4) "True..." <<< I was talking about work
5) "I'm gonna call her" <<< tryna get somebody put on at my job
6) "ohmygoodness! I love it! Super cute and professional" <<< I sent them the same photo
7) "ok ill wait tillbu hit me up then" <<< I told him to give me some space
8) "where are you located" <<< self explanatory
9) Red Box sent me a free DVD code .... I will be using it tonight :)
10) "nah. haven't been on fb or twitter. What's the blog abt? And who?" <<< I blogged about them & they hadn't seen it yet SMH
*wipes forehead* Glad there wasn't anything "bad" in there ;)
Part II:
Today's Letter is "M"
Well, gotta show respect where respect is due ... today's song is "Motivation" - Kelly Rowland & Weezy <<<< such an addictive song (So addictive, my grandma knows it SMH)..... I'm still working on the gospel version ... s/o 2 my "what key are we gonna be in" crew
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Letters to my Siblings ... Tek
First off, Let me tell ya'll i am TRULY blessed to have friends that I really do consider siblings. So this letter is dedicated to none other than Tamekia L. Foxx:
Dear Tek, Mek, Ta-me-ki-a, pookie, sensi, Teko, La...... the list goes on
I Love You! I fight with you more than anyone & we bump heads REGULARLY but NEVER doubt that I LOVE YOU!
You are the inspiration (outside of God) as to why I am here in Cedar Rapids Iowa !!!! A simple suggestion from you changed my life for the better. You rode/drove with me in a car for 20 HOURS from NC to IA. You have pushed me so far.... you ALWAYS hold me to a high standard. You are YOU!
Tek, I just want to say thank you! You've been there for me when I've had $0 to my name. When I've had no car you gave me a ride. When I had no food, you came to my job w/ food and $20 in the bag. We almost fought b/c I was a lowkey alcoholic. We then cried together..... Thank You for being my sister, co-spy, ride out partner, security guard at the club, secret keeper, auntie, dad, cousin, mom, everything!
Our friendship has grown from just seeing you at "cult events" to being sad when I haven't heard from you all day!You always know HOW to make me happy (fun fetti cupcakes) and WHEN to be stern & tell me about myself (daily lol). I'm not sure WHY God saw fit to bring our lives together but I'm glad He did!
You are soooo little in frame BUT you have the BIGGEST heart! You NEVER judge (I can't figure out how you don't either), and even when you're upset with me.... it's never for too long!
I wish you much success in EVERY endeavor of your life. I KNOW that God has something (and someone) special for you. You've been through SOOOO many trials and have SOOO much wisdom to share with the world! I can't wait to see your dreams come true :) I only hope that I've been 1/2 the friend you've been to me....
Stay strong, stay happy, stay confident, stay Foxxy!
Love,
ProdiGal Child .....Sade
Dear Tek, Mek, Ta-me-ki-a, pookie, sensi, Teko, La...... the list goes on
I Love You! I fight with you more than anyone & we bump heads REGULARLY but NEVER doubt that I LOVE YOU!
You are the inspiration (outside of God) as to why I am here in Cedar Rapids Iowa !!!! A simple suggestion from you changed my life for the better. You rode/drove with me in a car for 20 HOURS from NC to IA. You have pushed me so far.... you ALWAYS hold me to a high standard. You are YOU!
Tek, I just want to say thank you! You've been there for me when I've had $0 to my name. When I've had no car you gave me a ride. When I had no food, you came to my job w/ food and $20 in the bag. We almost fought b/c I was a lowkey alcoholic. We then cried together..... Thank You for being my sister, co-spy, ride out partner, security guard at the club, secret keeper, auntie, dad, cousin, mom, everything!
 |
| We always have a special bond in photos |
Our friendship has grown from just seeing you at "cult events" to being sad when I haven't heard from you all day!You always know HOW to make me happy (fun fetti cupcakes) and WHEN to be stern & tell me about myself (daily lol). I'm not sure WHY God saw fit to bring our lives together but I'm glad He did!
You are soooo little in frame BUT you have the BIGGEST heart! You NEVER judge (I can't figure out how you don't either), and even when you're upset with me.... it's never for too long!
I wish you much success in EVERY endeavor of your life. I KNOW that God has something (and someone) special for you. You've been through SOOOO many trials and have SOOO much wisdom to share with the world! I can't wait to see your dreams come true :) I only hope that I've been 1/2 the friend you've been to me....
Stay strong, stay happy, stay confident, stay Foxxy!
Love,
ProdiGal Child .....Sade
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Hello World
Hello World ... *taps mic* Is this things on??
I has been a minute & I've been feeling soooo much since I last blogged sooo excuse me if this blog is longer than most :)
1) Iowa- Iowa is cool! Honesly, it is as hot as NC soooo I'm NOT excited about that LOL but the humidity always reminds me of home :)
Anyway, I FINALLY finished training on Monday (it was one of the most intense things I've been through in my life. Homework due to midnight nightly and classroom setting 8am-5pm and sometimes 8am-8pm BUT it was all worth it in the end)
I haven't had a chance to sight-see yet BUT I fully plan on it next week ;)
2) I'm 'moving' to Chicago on Aug 28th to set up a call center :) I'm beyond excited b/c I get to test my training b/c I'll be all alone :) ALSO if you are trying to come to Chi-town, hit me up... I leave Oct 21st ;)
3) I'm lonely ... don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything, I'm just lonely. Yesterday was the FIRST day I was alone since Ive been in Iowa!!!!! Mek came w/ me to Iowa, Julisa stayed w/ me til Sunday & i made friends w/ my co-trainees during our whole month of training...soooo now, I'm actually ALONE!
a) No worries though, I'm going to start working out ... join #Team NO Back Fat (compliments of Rhonda Foxx) aka team body tight for homecoming
b) Reading ... I don't have cable nor wireless sooooo when I'm not watching movies, I'll read books :)
4) I want to be loved. *bbm shock face* yea, I know! Me, Sade Uniqua Gilbert actually wants to be in a relationship. I think I'm FINALLY at the point where I WANT to share, I WANT to grow with someone, I WANT to be loved.................
Well, I think I've caught ya'll up on everything. I'll get back to my blog challenge on Monday :)
Some things to look forward too:
13) Letter to my other siblings
14) Last ten texts in your inbox.
15) A word or cliche that people say and you hate it.
16) What do you think a stranger’s first impression of you would be?
I has been a minute & I've been feeling soooo much since I last blogged sooo excuse me if this blog is longer than most :)
1) Iowa- Iowa is cool! Honesly, it is as hot as NC soooo I'm NOT excited about that LOL but the humidity always reminds me of home :)
Anyway, I FINALLY finished training on Monday (it was one of the most intense things I've been through in my life. Homework due to midnight nightly and classroom setting 8am-5pm and sometimes 8am-8pm BUT it was all worth it in the end)
I haven't had a chance to sight-see yet BUT I fully plan on it next week ;)
2) I'm 'moving' to Chicago on Aug 28th to set up a call center :) I'm beyond excited b/c I get to test my training b/c I'll be all alone :) ALSO if you are trying to come to Chi-town, hit me up... I leave Oct 21st ;)
3) I'm lonely ... don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything, I'm just lonely. Yesterday was the FIRST day I was alone since Ive been in Iowa!!!!! Mek came w/ me to Iowa, Julisa stayed w/ me til Sunday & i made friends w/ my co-trainees during our whole month of training...soooo now, I'm actually ALONE!
a) No worries though, I'm going to start working out ... join #Team NO Back Fat (compliments of Rhonda Foxx) aka team body tight for homecoming
b) Reading ... I don't have cable nor wireless sooooo when I'm not watching movies, I'll read books :)
4) I want to be loved. *bbm shock face* yea, I know! Me, Sade Uniqua Gilbert actually wants to be in a relationship. I think I'm FINALLY at the point where I WANT to share, I WANT to grow with someone, I WANT to be loved.................
Well, I think I've caught ya'll up on everything. I'll get back to my blog challenge on Monday :)
Some things to look forward too:
13) Letter to my other siblings
14) Last ten texts in your inbox.
15) A word or cliche that people say and you hate it.
16) What do you think a stranger’s first impression of you would be?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Random Ramblings of my Heart
Random Ramblings of my Heart,
The Bible says, "A double minded man is unstable in ALL of his ways" <<<< may explain why I've been sooo UNSTABLE, bi-polar emotionally, full of double standards, pro-hypocrisy & want my cake while I eat it too.
It's not irrational to look out for self, matter of fact it's perfectly rational. But in my hearts of hearts i care about other people, and more importantly I hate the words "I'm disappointed in you Sade". It's like a volcano erupting in your core & tears my heart to pieces, (not trying to guilt trip, this is real life).
I thought I was making a decision that would make my life easier & lift a burden BUT it turns out it's created more of a burden & sheer embarrassment.
So what do I do?
Move on and act like it never happened? (knowing noone is ever going to forget)
OR
Do you swallow your pride & ask for a second chance? (knowing the answer maybe be "NO")
I don't know? but what I do know is that I NEED to get my mind RIGHT & I NEED to have stability!
The Bible says, "A double minded man is unstable in ALL of his ways" <<<< may explain why I've been sooo UNSTABLE, bi-polar emotionally, full of double standards, pro-hypocrisy & want my cake while I eat it too.
It's not irrational to look out for self, matter of fact it's perfectly rational. But in my hearts of hearts i care about other people, and more importantly I hate the words "I'm disappointed in you Sade". It's like a volcano erupting in your core & tears my heart to pieces, (not trying to guilt trip, this is real life).
I thought I was making a decision that would make my life easier & lift a burden BUT it turns out it's created more of a burden & sheer embarrassment.
So what do I do?
Move on and act like it never happened? (knowing noone is ever going to forget)
OR
Do you swallow your pride & ask for a second chance? (knowing the answer maybe be "NO")
I don't know? but what I do know is that I NEED to get my mind RIGHT & I NEED to have stability!
Day 13: part 3: Letter to siblings, Sis from another mother!
13) Your siblings (write a letter)
(as usual, the letters always tend to end up being the blogs I have to dig deep
within so I'll be writing 3 letters 1st to my lil bro, then my lil sis,
then to people I consider siblings :) (i'll add the letter M to the last letter)
We have 108 photos tagged of us together on facebook, if you look at family she's under "mother" ... who do I speak of?
My Sister from another Mother, Moneika!
When August gets here, we would have known each other 7 years o_0!!!!! Let me start by saying THANK YOU!
I remember walking into HJNorth room 316 and looking on the other door and saw Moneika (monica) and britani would be my suite mates... I opened the bathroom door, met brittani and thought she was sooooo nice. Then I met you a couple hours later and i thought you would be sooooo mean ... i was all the way wrong
7 years later...
You're still my friend and more than that, I truly consider you my sister! You are everything I'm not lol you think with your head & not your heart, you judge a book after your read it, i judge it before, you plan, I operate on impulse, you manage money, I spend money SMH
Thank You, thank you for introducing me to UNC-Chapel Hill class of 07! I know more people in the class of 07 than my own class. You took me under your wings and let me hang out with you, took me to my 1st que party, 1st alpha ball, 1st probate, 1st game night, Gave me YOUR ticket to the UNC/Dook game b/c you had to work, gave me a roof when I could have slept in the street, visited me in the hospital, took me to the hospital, gave me money, gave me your time and MOST importantly you gave me LOVE! We've been through several things after 7 years and never once did you give up on me. You forgave me when I didn't deserve forgiveness and tolerated my immaturity when I should have behaved like an adult. You were there for me when i found out my cousin was murdered, I owe you my first born child lol
You changed my life! You believed in me! and I'm going to miss you while I'm gone, I'm going to miss coming to your house for NO reason and calling you for NO reason. I can only pray that I've been 1/3 of a sister that you've been to me :) While I'm gone... don't change! continue doing what you're doing, you inspire me to chase my dreams so I expect you to stay in the race! You embody perseverance so NEVER give up! I Love you and I thank you for being my friend (sister).
Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks - expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs - that can undermine any tale you're telling. ~Pam Brown
Day 13: part 3: Letter to siblings ...my big sister
13) Your siblings (write a letter)
(as usual, the letters always tend to end up being the blogs I have to dig deep
within so I'll be writing 3 letters 1st to my lil bro, then my lil sis,
then to people I consider siblings :) (i'll add the letter M to the last letter)
To Darla B. Thank you,
You've been there for me since I was 13 years old. My big sister, 10 years later and you're STILL in my corner despite EVERYTHING we've been through! You've been there for me when my own family wasn't there. You've been there financially when I was going to be homeless, you've been there to dry my tears when life left me heartless. I've now matured into a woman and you still treat me like i'm 13 lol BUT I appreciate it! If I want an honest answer, I will always know who to call :)
I can't say Thank You enough for pushing me to give and do my best, you were in the audience during my first high school play, in the congregation when I was the early bird speaker, twice, in the stands when I graduated, in the courtroom when I had to go to honor court, twice... Thank You!
Also thank you to your family, ya'll invited me in for thanksgiving, Christmas & even family reunions... when I had no definition of family, you all redefined it and I'm forever indebted to you; THANK YOU
As I go on this date with destiny in Iowa, I thank you for pushing me!
A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double. ~Toni Morrison
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Day 13: Letter to siblings part 2: To a PEACE of my Heart, lil sis
13) Your siblings (write a letter)
(as usual, the letter always tend to end up being the blogs I have to dig deep
within so I'll be writing 3 letters 1st to my lil bro, then my lil sis,
then to people I consider siblings :) (i'll add the letter M to the last letter)
I was 10 years old and they told me I'd be a Big sis....AGAIN -______________- i guess NOone noticed my reaction to having a lil bro smh So now I not only have to share w/ Niran BUTTTT now I have the change diapers again, make bottles, and did I mention that I have to SHARE again (I'm not good at sharing, lol). But on June 18th I was the most excited kid in the world, I got a call that my mom had a baby and it was a girl :)Alafia (yes, like funga alafia, ashay ashay) but it means ... PEACE
Since that day, things haven't always been peaceful.
Being 10 years older than you, I was your mom!
Even now, I see you as a little me, my kid! Much like with Niran,
I despised you too, b/c I promise you
got EVERYTHING you wanted and to this day, If I want something....
if I can get you to want the same thing then I know we'll have it o_0 BUT that's
what happens when you're the youngest -_-
Anyway, what you don't know is that YOU INSPIRE ME. You push me to be smarter,
work harder, read bigger books, study longer b/c YOU ARE SOOOO smart!
You placed in the 90 percentile in Math & English in Wake County.
You place SECOND out of 75 kids in a NC State Chemistry class!
You are everything I was too scared to be:
compassionate, caring, sharing, selfless, and more importantly,
you put other's above yourself.
You ALWAYS think of ME.
I am HONORED to be YOUR Big sister!
No matter what we've been through you've ALWAYS been
sooooo easy to forgive And without you I NEVER would have learned to true definition of LOVE.
NEVER give up on yourself! You are the BRIGHTEST 13 year old that I know :)
Follow your heart, go to Yale, go to Princeton, go ANYWHERE (except for Dook)
and no matter what it looks like, NEVER GIVE UP! I BELIEVE IN YOU!
I believe that all the tears you've cried will NEVER be in vain!
I believe you will accomplish EVERY goal you set for yourself. 
I left Niran in charge of taking care of everybody while I'm gone
BUT I leave you in charge of LOVING EVERYONE:
my momma, my grandma, Claudia,
Maya, Naja, Matthias and Niran (and coffee) *and yes I did say Love Niran too*
You express love so easily
and have no problem being vulnerable....
So I challenge you to Hug them, Kiss them, Tell them you Love them
EVERY TIME you think of Me! Love yourself until you love ALL the hurt away :)
Love, Your Big Sis,
Sade
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Brother Dear ... Pt.1
13) Your siblings (write a letter)
(as usual, the letter always tend to end up being the blogs I have to dig deep
within so I'll be writing 3 letters 1st to my lil bro, then my lil sis,
then to people I consider siblings :) (i'll add the letter M to the last letter)
Niran,I remember when I was told I'd have a little brother ... I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!! The prospect of being able to take care of a baby made me TOO happy .... THEN I realized ... hey,this baby won't be a baby forever -_- so that means I HAVE to share with him, babysit him, watch after him, protect him, and be a "good" example -__________- that's NOT what I signed up 4
I didn't know how to love you and often I despised you b/c no matter what YOU did, I got in trouble! I felt
like I got pushed to the maximum and our family just let you skate by.... you could do no wrong and if you did
there was always someone there to make an excuse for you. But the more I grow up, I realize, I despised you b/c I despised MYSELF. Once I came to this reality, I figured out how to love you as my brother but by that time.... I was moving out the house, I'm sorry 0_o.
I Love you lil bro, I see the man that you will be if you are patient and give yourself a chance! You remind me SO much of myself, you're charismatic, you easily makes friends, resilient, and protective of your family! You WILL overcome EVERY statistic that's been placed on you b/c you are a black man! You will defy ANY generational curses! God has His hands on you and with maturity I KNOW you'll turn out a hansom gentleman. BUT know that no matter who old you get, how tall you get, you will ALWAYS be my little brother!
P.S. While I'm in Iowa... you, sir, are in charge! Take care of my momma, my grandma, Claudia, Maya, Naja, Lafi & Matthias (and coffee)! Don't do ANYTHING your Big sis wouldn't do :) and yes I'll be keeping tabs on your senior year of high school while I'm in a different timezone! I'm going to Iowa, not only to make my life better for myself, but for you & your future :)
Monday, July 4, 2011
Day 12 of 26 (L)
Favorite cooking TV show
random Sade fact: If you turn on my tv at any random date/time 99% of the time my tv will be on Food Network! I <3 Food Network, Bobby Flay, Mario Batali, Cat Cora, Guy Fietti, Marc Conent, "The Chairman", Alton Brown, and I even watch it a lot in the throwback years w/ Rachel Ray& Emeril Lagasse *BAM!*
I said all that to say, it's VERY hard for me to pick my FAVORITE cooking show b/c I watch them all except for Barefoot Contessa <<< i HATE her food, it NEVER looks yummy -_-
But If I must ... I'll go w/ Iron Chef ... America
If you too are a Food Network fan then you know Iron Chef started in Japan
THEN came to America
I LOVE this show b/c of all the pressure, it's normally an awkward "secret ingredient" and it really challenges chefs.
Part II:
Today's Letter is "L" :
*I know this wasn't a serious post BUT I'm having some serious feelings..... this 1st song is from the heart ... Isley Brother's Living for the love of YOU*
Second song is less emotional - The song that made me fan of J.Cole - "Lights Please" and below it is a cover from a guy name "Crucial" ... I discovered him 2day and I like his version where he's telling a story of Domestic Violence
Friday, July 1, 2011
New news
I know ya'll nosey so ima keep it simple:
Who:
So let me start by saying THANK YOU LORD! secondly, Me
What/Where:
Well today I am proud to say I am leaving, I will be moving to Cedar Rapids, Iowa
When:
by July 25th.
Why:
I made a blog about a week ago about "Fast, Pray, Leave" Where I vaguely mentioned leaving...... The Lord had spoken to me while I was fasting/praying about getting into summer school that I would be ALONE for a season. I took this to mean, spending more time at home alone, not hanging out w/ my friends as much, etc....... Shortly after, I had a convo w/ Tamekia where she told me "sometimes you have to go away for awhile THEN come back and finish your goal" and that statement IMMEDIATELY clicked in my spirit. I applied for a position that was a promotion of my current position as a Supervisor to be a Senior Supervisor. However, I knew If I got the job i'd have to relocate to Iowa.... Well, I was offered the position today and I accepted :) Cedar Rapids here I come :)
Full Circle:
I applied to be a Senior Supervisor in Iowa & while I was interviewed for the position they let me know that I would only be a supervisor for a little while THEN move on to graduate services where I'll be traveling setting up call centers <<<<<<< THAT is what I wanted to do AFTER I got my degree from UNC .... they are hiring me for that job WITHOUT me having my degree yet .... JESUS..... So though I don't have my degree YET, I'm still qualified for the job
I said all that to say, YES I plan on finishing my degree at UNC-CH. THANK YOU to EVERY person that SUPPORTED me, PRAYED for me, BELIEVED in me, and even CRITICIZED me....
DELAY IS NOT DENIAL
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Sue Sylvester
Day 11: Your favorite Sue Sylvester moment
I watch Glee RELIGIOUSLY! I LOVE the whole show and though they def tip-toe on blasphemy and show things that I wouldn't consider socially responsible, I STILL love the music & the drama of the show! Sue is my FAVORITE character ... probably b/c I can a bit of a douche-bag, like her.
My FAV Sue moment was quote, "I surgically removed my tear ducts when i was 19, b/c I wasn't using them" <<< I DVRed it and played it over & over b/c it made perfect sense & I laughed so hard b/c she was soooo serious lol If you aren't using your tear ducts... take out out smh
However, this last season she def cried about her sister dying soooo I question her surgical abilities :)
PART II:
Today's Letter is K
*this is my FAVORITE J.Cole Freestyle of ALL time* (the runner up was knuck if you buck lol so shake ya dreds to this!)
"Knock on Wood Freestyle" ... if you gone do dirt then you can't leave a stain!
Wedding Bells
Day 10: A Song You Want Played At Your Wedding and J (Mayer Hawthorne)
Soooo the more I matured, I decided Faith Evan "If I had One Wish" Will be played (and if i can afford vocal lessons, I'll be singing it to my husband) I agree with EVERY word in that song coincidentally, I'm not currently in love w/ any1 BUT when I do fall in love.....
If I had one wish, boy
I'd wish you next to me
And it could be in summer, fall or spring, boy
'Cause you make my heart sing
I wanna give my heart, my soul, my love to you
Oh baby
'Cause every day I'm not with you
I'm missing you like crazy
I need for you to...
(Chorus)
I need for you to love me (love me),
hold me (hold me), touch me(touch me)
Down deep in my soul, and never let it go
Of the love we share, no one compares to you
I'll never let you go 'cause I really love you so
Oh I...
I'll never let you go, oh no
I was one of the BEST concert I'd EVER attended! Jamal Bufford went on stage 1st (far right) w/ Dj 14KT (beside me) and RIPPED it, great delivery, great structure, told great stories and I was beyond IMPRESSED!
Well, up until I was about 16, I wanted Chaka Kahn "Sweet Thing" to play at my wedding :) HOWEVER My moms said that would be a "no-no" b/c the song is about adultery... I didn't believe her. I was naive, "I would love you anyway, even if you cannot stay" <<<< I thought the man was going to work .... CLEARLY in retrospect i see he's going home to his wife o_0 can't have that playing at MY wedding :(
If I had one wish, boy
I'd wish you next to me
And it could be in summer, fall or spring, boy
'Cause you make my heart sing
I wanna give my heart, my soul, my love to you
Oh baby
'Cause every day I'm not with you
I'm missing you like crazy
I need for you to...
(Chorus)
I need for you to love me (love me),
hold me (hold me), touch me(touch me)
Down deep in my soul, and never let it go
Of the love we share, no one compares to you
I'll never let you go 'cause I really love you so
Oh I...
I'll never let you go, oh no
PART II:
Today's Letter is J
About 2 year ago, my friend (Jessica) invited me to a concert on Franklin St and she mentioned names I'd NEVER heard before but she said she knew them for Detroit & promised they were good sooo I was down!
I was one of the BEST concert I'd EVER attended! Jamal Bufford went on stage 1st (far right) w/ Dj 14KT (beside me) and RIPPED it, great delivery, great structure, told great stories and I was beyond IMPRESSED!
THEN
This White boy in a cardigan and jeans stepped on stage (in my head I was RET TO GO)... He started singing and I was HOOKED sooo I present to you ... "Just ain't gonna work out" by Mayer Hawthorne
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