So, in one of my older blogs I wrote a letter to my biological father ( http://uniquecadence.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-24-part-2-o-father-where-art.html ) and within this blog I asked a question that a lot of this generation toggles with "it is better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved?" and I ALWAYS respond with it is better to have loved & lost" because at least you have experienced LOVE.
Today, I've changed my mind. It is better to have NEVER loved than to have love ripped away from you! Why you ask?
I went to Ohio this weekend to visit my lil cousins and I realized.... I rather not know who my father is from "who shot John" than to KNOW my father and he never calls, never text, never makes an effort to TRY to love me!
Thank God the kids aren't bitter and in fact they are hopeful that their dad will "come around" BUT my heart was sooooooo hurt to know that a man in MY family has caused them pain, hurts me beyond belief!!
What kind of man deserts his responsibility to raise HIS kids???? I wish someone could help me understand how you choose not to love someone that wouldn't be here if it weren't for YOU!!! That's YOUR blood in their veins, YOUR DNA... How can you ignore yourself?
I'll never get an answer and I'm ok with that b/c in all honesty, my uncle doesn't HAVE to answer to me. But what I can guarantee is that he will have to answer to his kids one day. In the meantime, I'll pray that when they grow up, they aren't anything like Sade b/c Sade would choose to NEVER answer the phone, respond to a letter, text back, or anything else b/c clearly you proved that you don't care anything about me! But again, I hope they are more forgiving...
Lastly, To all the deadbeats out there (Including any in my family), I hope you NEVER get another wink of sleep until you repair the relationship between you are your children!
<3, Sade
