Day 12 of 30 ...

 Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr (Blogger) and why you made one

Well I've known about blogs for a LONG time and considering making one several times.  however, it wasn't until i realized how powerful my testimony is .... that i decided to create one for two reasons: 

1) this blog is for me b/c it's an open area for me to openly express myself, it's like a diary and i don't mind it being public

2) this blog is for you b/c if just ONE PERSON reads my blog and makes a change in their life for the BETTER .... then my mission is COMPLETE.  I am being as transparent as I am b/c i want people to learn from my mistakes and also see the transformation of my thoughts as i mature :)

30 day Blog Challenge ... day 11

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends 

*** see told ya'll it's come around again :) and i def still had 2 leave people out :( I have a lot of friends ... i'll be sure to blog about them all :) ***

I love these 3 :)

Kish and I ... no1 understands us BUT us!

 

 

 

i think of them as lil sisters ... tho i often act younger :-/

1/3 of the way done ... Day 10 of 30 day challenge

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

*** I pretty much listen to 90's music (soul 4 real, silk, blackstreet) and current rap (ye', hov, j.cole, drake, weezy, t.i. etc) ALL DAY regardless what mood I'm in*** 

+++Also these answers are subject to who/what happened ... like i pretty much have an anthem for everyone in my life based on the way they make me feel or the point in which they came into my life+++ (for example: one of my exes songs was "Bullet Proof Soul" b/c he introduced me to that song sooo if I miss him or he makes me mad ... that song will be on repeat)

Happy:

1) all things J.cole ....... 

2) I know (Jay z) 

3) Let the beat build (Weezy) 

4) Mrs. Jackson (Outkast)

Sad: 

1) After the Hurricane (Jazmine Sullivan) 

2) Make you feel me love (Adele)

3) Fistful of Tears (Maxwell)  

4) ) Losing My Balance (J.cole)

Hyped:

1) Back that Thang up  (YMCM)

2)Ol' lehhh' do it ... REMIX (Diddy went SOOOO HARD)

3) No Hands (Wale and them)

4) Beautiful Bliss (Wale and J.cole)

Mad:

1)  Bittersweet (Kanye)

2) Purple Rain (Prince) 

3) Bullet Proof soul (Sade)

4) Pretty Wings (Maxwell)

30 day challenge ... day 9

The challenge: Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

1) I'm proud of myself because I'm taking iniative to "learn how to fish" instead of letting other's fish for me.  I've started doing my own budget and TRYING to use self-control (pray for me).  I also have been setting about 5 alarms so people dont have to call/text to wake me up lol. Lastly, i've been trying to be more helpful instead of a burden... i've helped my friends with simple tasks to show that I truly am trying to change.

2) I'm proud of my mom b/c she is going through a divorce... she's being very strong during this tough time for my family. When if is was ME ... I would be playing DIIIIIRTY

3) I'm proud of ALL my callers (and fellow supervisors)  that were able to successfully balance: school + work + step/hop practice- this was one of the BEST step-shows I've seen and for that, I am sooo proud of you all. CONGRATS to KO (Deltas) and XG (Sigmas) ;)

that's pretty much it over the past few days...

30 day Challenge .... Day 8

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

November goals

1) Not be depressed on/for/about my birthday  

--- I feel like I am going to #FAIL this goal SMH BUT honestly HOW does one "celebrate" their birthday when the person that they've shared their b-day w/ ... their WHOLE life ... isn't living? Every year i pep myself up and try to think it"ll be easier to rejoice BUT in reality .... I just wish my cousin was around for my 23rd and her 28th :(  *** we were younger we'd call at 12am and argue about who's going to sing who happy bday 1st and we always just sung over each other lol *** anyway, i think I'll be going to visit @ the cemetery and singing happy birthday ..... (ugh second time crying today :( .... which leads me to goal #2)

2) not being so emotional 

---- here lately i've been crying for NO reason .... NOT A GOOD LOOK ... gotta get these emotions UNDER CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!

3) Getting j.cole to tweet me happy birthday ... 

----like i'm sooooo serious ... i LOVE him as an artist (i'll blog about him soon) and i would REALLY appreciate him just saying "happy birthday @smooth0perat0r" ... that's it ... 3 words lol I plan on tweeting him everyday until then so he doesn't forget :)

4) getting a Droid

---- I REALLY want the Blackberry Torch BUTTTT Sprint doesn't have anything equivalent :( sooo looks like I gotta join the Droid team ... with 4 G :) 

5) letting people know i LOVE them

---- The people that i LOVE, i'll tell them I Love Them! The people I appreciate, I'll tell them Thank You... etc because how will any1 ever know how much they mean to me unless i tell them????

Challenge Day 7 out of 30 :)

The Challenge: Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

*** Let me just say that Nov and probably one of the HARDEST months for me to get through... i'm hoping this blog will help me express my feelings and NOT slip into depression***

This is a pic of my cousin: Nneka Talibah Sutton (Wilson)  ( I'll refrain from making this a "sad" blog by going into the story about how she was killed ... i'll save that for later but you can google her if u want)

Let me just say that I miss my cousin SOOO much mainly because she was WAYYY more to me than a cousin ... she was my best friend, sister, mother, counselor, partner in crime all wrapped into one person lol.  My cousin and I had the same birthday she's Nov. 23, 1982 and i'm Nov 23, 1987.  We grew up hip to hip as you can see below :)

 

So i def considered her more of a big sister than just my cousin lol.  But yea in her life she had a significant impact, I could tell you story after story of us getting in/out trouble with the antics we involved ourselves with smh BUT i'll make it short and just let you know that she has had the biggest impact on my life :) She never judged me but she ALWAYS told me the TRUTH ... even when i didn't quite understand why lol!!!!! She was nice, short in stature BUT had a lil temper that was OUT of this world lol  (I think this applies to every female in my family by the way) But yea, i spent my life from about 5 - 12 trying to be her and i really wish i would have continued from 13-20.  We kind of lost touch b/c she moved to Rocky Mount for school.  But i think i was the happiest person when she moved from Rocky Mount back to Raleigh :) Nonetheless, i thank her for her influence because she taught me how to be "RIDE OR DIE" for my friends and family and to "STICK TO THE SCRIPT" when you've been caught by your parents lol I Love her and I miss her.....

Challenge Day 6

*** before I begin, I'd like to apologize for forsaking you DURING Homecoming lol ... had a BLAST in case you were wondering :) P.S. - you'll be forsaken again around Nov. 23 ... my bday :) ***

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Well, I choose Hancock because he is an excellent example of vices + virtues = superhero.  Most people think of Superman, the X-men, Batman etc as their fav superhero. I prefer Greek mythology gods and Hancock because their nemesis wasn't a person BUT THEMSELVES!!!!! Much like Hancock, i often am my own worst enemy and if I can deal with my inner demons then the true superhero in me can shine through.  Also, i really fell in love with Hancock as a character because of the way people treated him... the public only acknowledged him as an alcoholic and saw him as more of a problem than a superhero and i KNOW exactly what that feels like! People wonder why the only side of Sade they see is the drinking, party going, ready 4 whatever - side (I think that was part of the shock when i said i wasn't going out for homecoming .... that's just not in my character) BUT that is because "NO ONE" knows the reflective, sensitive, emotional, side of me.  They want me when they want me but when they are done .... they are done. So i certainly identify with Hancock and hopefully soon I'll be able to win my inward battle so the Super Sade can Fly!