Random Ramblings of my Heart

Random Ramblings of my Heart,
The Bible says, "A double minded man is unstable in ALL of his ways" <<<< may explain why I've been sooo UNSTABLE, bi-polar emotionally, full of double standards, pro-hypocrisy & want my cake while I eat it too.

It's not irrational to look out for self, matter of fact it's perfectly rational.  But in my hearts of hearts i care about other people, and more importantly I hate the words "I'm disappointed in you Sade".  It's like a volcano erupting in your core & tears my heart to pieces, (not trying to guilt trip, this is real life). 

I thought I was making a decision that would make my life easier & lift a burden BUT it turns out it's created more of a burden & sheer embarrassment. 

So what do I do?

Move on and act like it never happened?  (knowing noone is ever going to forget)
OR
Do you swallow your pride & ask for a second chance? (knowing the answer maybe be "NO")

I don't know? but what I do know is that I NEED to get my mind RIGHT &  I NEED to have stability!