“If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don't tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don't understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions.” ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
I stole the quote above from my friend on facebook and I needed it!
Wassup Ya'll! It has been awhile so I'm sure you're wondering what I've been doing with my life:
Trying to Get my life and emotions under control - Reading Iyanla Vanzant books hoping it will be as effective as her knocking on my front door telling me that my family will be on "Iyanla Fix My Life". Since that is highly unlikely, I'm hoping I can learn something to change my outlook on life and love permanently. I say permanently because how many times have we heard a sermon, read a book, read a status, etc that HAD to have been catered just to us... We digest the message and thennnnnnnn MOVE ON! Or, if you're like me, you hear it, know it's for you, change for about a week, then it's back to your old ways. I want something else, I'm seeking something else, I have no idea what it is BUT I know it's deeper than something I'll do for 1 or 2 weeks. I thought my quest to Iowa/Illinois was it (I am still learning a lot) but I still don't feel complete :-/
Needless to say, I've been spending time putting my 5 year plan together and just trying to figure out what it is that I'm missing. Because this missing piece is sending my emotions through all kinds of roller coasters smh... I guess, my solution is to quit assuming and ask God the right questions...
Hope this helped someone :)
Uniqua
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Lovers & [then] Friends?
Don't let the title disturb you lol ain't nothing going on over here but the rent! However, I do have a few questions:
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH EXES?
How does it work successfully?
The basics:
1 person decides you two not compatible anymore or 1 isn't ready for a relationship....
Or Both of you decide the relationship isn't working either way....
The bomb is dropped "Can we be friends"
All I really want to know is what to do when:
1) You (or they) want to hang-out BUT you're (they're) hanging out with someone else?
2) When you (or they) start dating someone else?
3) Deep down you still love them BUT essentially they've rejected your love.... how do you get over that?
4) How do you go from Lovers to Friends?
5) Is there a natural time-frame for this? After 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years? When is it ok to be able to look at them as a "friend"?
I just foresee awkward on top of awkward on top of awkward moments that I feel would be best if avoided .... but maybe that's just me- What ya'll think? (for real, someone give me answers)
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH EXES?
How does it work successfully?
The basics:
1 person decides you two not compatible anymore or 1 isn't ready for a relationship....
Or Both of you decide the relationship isn't working either way....
The bomb is dropped "Can we be friends"
All I really want to know is what to do when:
1) You (or they) want to hang-out BUT you're (they're) hanging out with someone else?
2) When you (or they) start dating someone else?
3) Deep down you still love them BUT essentially they've rejected your love.... how do you get over that?
4) How do you go from Lovers to Friends?
5) Is there a natural time-frame for this? After 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years? When is it ok to be able to look at them as a "friend"?
I just foresee awkward on top of awkward on top of awkward moments that I feel would be best if avoided .... but maybe that's just me- What ya'll think? (for real, someone give me answers)
Monday, September 3, 2012
Home-Sick - Updates
Hello All,
I know it has been awhile so I just wanted to stop & give ya'll some updates:
1) I'm still 15 lbs down lol I'm sad/proud of this at the same time lol proud because I ate EVERYWHERE Bahama Breeze, Dames, McDonalds, Briggs, etc that last weeks I was in NC and now I'm back here I've been eating out A LOT too smh but I've still been able to maintain the 15 loss :) I'm sad thou b/c I need at least 30 more lbs gone by the time Homecoming rolls around soooo I have A LOT of work to do...
2) Speaking of work- YES I'm back in the midwest ;) I'm excited b/c I have trips to Mall of America, Nebraska, Indiana, St. Louis, and downtown Chicago planned! Again, I am so thankful for this opportunity to get to see the U.S. for longer than a week vacation but 14 weeks of travel! I do still get homesick tho
3) Speaking of Homesick- I miss ya'll! I was home for 3 months sooooo i def miss my friends/family but most of all- I miss people cooking for me :)
Lemme get out what I feel tho:
Common Cold
I think I'm getting over you
the common cold
you showed up
I have a fever
my vision got blurry
my throat got tingly
nose was stopped up
I had to FIGHT to breathe
I found out I wasn't immune
Everything in my life was uncommon
til I met you
felt like the flu
you blew
I sneezed
ah-chu
Bless you or me?
To breathe again
Distance was the NyQuil
Cleared the (s)not right on up
Now I can see clearly
Temperature is back down
only chloraseptic residue in my throat
it's still numb
as if you were here....
I think I'm getting over you
ah-chu
maybe not?
I know it has been awhile so I just wanted to stop & give ya'll some updates:
1) I'm still 15 lbs down lol I'm sad/proud of this at the same time lol proud because I ate EVERYWHERE Bahama Breeze, Dames, McDonalds, Briggs, etc that last weeks I was in NC and now I'm back here I've been eating out A LOT too smh but I've still been able to maintain the 15 loss :) I'm sad thou b/c I need at least 30 more lbs gone by the time Homecoming rolls around soooo I have A LOT of work to do...
2) Speaking of work- YES I'm back in the midwest ;) I'm excited b/c I have trips to Mall of America, Nebraska, Indiana, St. Louis, and downtown Chicago planned! Again, I am so thankful for this opportunity to get to see the U.S. for longer than a week vacation but 14 weeks of travel! I do still get homesick tho
3) Speaking of Homesick- I miss ya'll! I was home for 3 months sooooo i def miss my friends/family but most of all- I miss people cooking for me :)
Lemme get out what I feel tho:
Common Cold
I think I'm getting over you
the common cold
you showed up
I have a fever
my vision got blurry
my throat got tingly
nose was stopped up
I had to FIGHT to breathe
I found out I wasn't immune
Everything in my life was uncommon
til I met you
felt like the flu
you blew
I sneezed
ah-chu
Bless you or me?
To breathe again
Distance was the NyQuil
Cleared the (s)not right on up
Now I can see clearly
Temperature is back down
only chloraseptic residue in my throat
it's still numb
as if you were here....
I think I'm getting over you
ah-chu
maybe not?
Saturday, June 30, 2012
15 down 65 to go!
Hello, Hello, Hello World!
I just wanted to stop by and drop off some updates :)
So far:
- I've lost 15 lbs
- 3.5 inches in my waist
- 2 inches in my hips
- 2 inches in my chest
I had a few minor set-backs this week due to LOTS of eating out and just not being consistent with my workouts! No worries, I got over the depression really quickly and got back on my grind. So as of today I'm 5 lbs away from my 1st marker = 20lbs (which means I can go to Dames after 5 little pounds :)). I'm also going to the BAHAMAS as the end of July soooo my goal after hitting 20lbs is 40lbs by the end of July!
Below I'm going to give yall some updated pics. My mom claims my butt is smaller o_0 I can't see it yet. I can feel my clothes getting a little more loose around my hips and thighs. But I'm most sad about losing chest .... the ladies feel me!
I've been being all domestic lately and it has really broadend my [food] horizons. I've tried whole wheat noodles, all fruit (no sweetners) smoothies, and greek yogurt (GROSS)!
Anyway, hit me up if you have any tips to help me get to my 80lbs loss goal - s/o B.Norris she's been helping me A LOT with healthier food options :) s/o everyone who sends me encouraging text/calls/messages/dms/etc ;)
I just wanted to stop by and drop off some updates :)
So far:
- I've lost 15 lbs
- 3.5 inches in my waist
- 2 inches in my hips
- 2 inches in my chest
I had a few minor set-backs this week due to LOTS of eating out and just not being consistent with my workouts! No worries, I got over the depression really quickly and got back on my grind. So as of today I'm 5 lbs away from my 1st marker = 20lbs (which means I can go to Dames after 5 little pounds :)). I'm also going to the BAHAMAS as the end of July soooo my goal after hitting 20lbs is 40lbs by the end of July!
Below I'm going to give yall some updated pics. My mom claims my butt is smaller o_0 I can't see it yet. I can feel my clothes getting a little more loose around my hips and thighs. But I'm most sad about losing chest .... the ladies feel me!
I've been being all domestic lately and it has really broadend my [food] horizons. I've tried whole wheat noodles, all fruit (no sweetners) smoothies, and greek yogurt (GROSS)!
Anyway, hit me up if you have any tips to help me get to my 80lbs loss goal - s/o B.Norris she's been helping me A LOT with healthier food options :) s/o everyone who sends me encouraging text/calls/messages/dms/etc ;)
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Eat, Pray, Love ... Oops
Eat. Pray. Love...
So as many of you know, I went on a quest to the midwest this year and I've spent 10 months between Iowa and Illinois! It was a GREAT experience that I'll be doing again this year :) I've seen the Arch in St. Louis, Chicago, Indianapolis, Cedar Rapids, Columbus, Kansas City, and various other cities across the mid-west. I've had BBQ, Chicago hotdogs, pizza, gyro, popcorn, essentially my own little taste of Chicago! .... which bring me to the
OOPS
I should have done more of an Eat.Exercise.Pray.Love ...... So now I've started a new journey - I'm GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT! I've always been a "big girl"and I like being apart of the ladies who grace the floor when "Watch out for the big girls" beat drops BUT I also want to be able to enjoy a healthy life!
New Journey: So my goal is to get down to a size 14/16 which will mean I will need to drop about 80 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!! (clap clap clap b/c I've lost 10 already :)) so make that 70
Who: Me
What: The freshman15 ... nah make that 50
When: NOW
How:
- I've cut my caloric intake from about 3000-4000 to 1500 or less.
- I'm ONLY drinking WATER
- I'm COOKING (and s/o to the people who give me shock face when they "find out" I can cook... I've ALWAYS been able to cook but WHY would I if my friends/family will cook for me?)
- INSANITY!!!!!! (Lawd, I die a little every time I hit PLAY on my DVD player) P.S. - If you can't get INSANITY check out the "Nike Training" App on iPhone.
- Just generally making better and healthier life decisions
Anyway, I'll be posting pics of food and pictures of my starting measurements and such so you all can go on this journey with me :)
P.S.- I wasn't going to do a blog about weight loss cuz I felt like I'd be putting myself out there too much BUT then a good friend of mine let me know it could serve as another level of accountability. How can I claim to be losing weight, show up at DHOE and look the same .... nah my pride won't let me go out like that. I'm sure the ole' smart Carolina folks are gonna be like "It's been 6 months, so 24 weeks, 2 lbs a week, 48 lbs or more is how much she SHOULD have lost 0_o" <<<<< yea, I'm not getting embarrassed lol so I figured now that I'm telling ya'll I'll remain diligent in my workouts ;) Welcome to the journey food and body pics BELOW!!!!!
So as many of you know, I went on a quest to the midwest this year and I've spent 10 months between Iowa and Illinois! It was a GREAT experience that I'll be doing again this year :) I've seen the Arch in St. Louis, Chicago, Indianapolis, Cedar Rapids, Columbus, Kansas City, and various other cities across the mid-west. I've had BBQ, Chicago hotdogs, pizza, gyro, popcorn, essentially my own little taste of Chicago! .... which bring me to the
OOPS
I should have done more of an Eat.Exercise.Pray.Love ...... So now I've started a new journey - I'm GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT! I've always been a "big girl"
New Journey: So my goal is to get down to a size 14/16 which will mean I will need to drop about 80 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!! (clap clap clap b/c I've lost 10 already :)) so make that 70
Who: Me
What: The freshman
When: NOW
How:
- I've cut my caloric intake from about 3000-4000 to 1500 or less.
- I'm ONLY drinking WATER
- I'm COOKING (and s/o to the people who give me shock face when they "find out" I can cook... I've ALWAYS been able to cook but WHY would I if my friends/family will cook for me?)
- INSANITY!!!!!! (Lawd, I die a little every time I hit PLAY on my DVD player) P.S. - If you can't get INSANITY check out the "Nike Training" App on iPhone.
- Just generally making better and healthier life decisions
Anyway, I'll be posting pics of food and pictures of my starting measurements and such so you all can go on this journey with me :)
P.S.- I wasn't going to do a blog about weight loss cuz I felt like I'd be putting myself out there too much BUT then a good friend of mine let me know it could serve as another level of accountability. How can I claim to be losing weight, show up at DHOE and look the same .... nah my pride won't let me go out like that. I'm sure the ole' smart Carolina folks are gonna be like "It's been 6 months, so 24 weeks, 2 lbs a week, 48 lbs or more is how much she SHOULD have lost 0_o" <<<<< yea, I'm not getting embarrassed lol so I figured now that I'm telling ya'll I'll remain diligent in my workouts ;) Welcome to the journey food and body pics BELOW!!!!!
Monday, May 7, 2012
VOTE
I never did my blog expressing my political beliefs about abortion, gay marriage, etc. I didn't do it for 2 reasons:
1) I'm farrrr more conservative than I think people think. I don't care that people often disagree with my opinions because I have a very "old school, conservative, churchy" <<< [whatever you choose to call it] views as it relates to politics.
2) I don't feel like auguring about my beliefs .... You have yours, I have mine, I have no heaven nor hell to put you in so "do you"
What I will say is I did a post about Amendment One today and I thought it was worth repeating and giving a little insight into my political views.
Amendment One:
1) I'm farrrr more conservative than I think people think. I don't care that people often disagree with my opinions because I have a very "old school, conservative, churchy" <<< [whatever you choose to call it] views as it relates to politics.
2) I don't feel like auguring about my beliefs .... You have yours, I have mine, I have no heaven nor hell to put you in so "do you"
What I will say is I did a post about Amendment One today and I thought it was worth repeating and giving a little insight into my political views.
Amendment One:
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Ya'll some bad mutha ... SHUT YO MOUTH
Disclaimer: If you have kids between the ages of 10-17 and you DO NOT check their facebook page [ and have their facebook/phone/twitter password] - REGULARLY .... STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!!
I just have a few questions:
1) Where are the parents?
2) When did they stop parenting?
3) Why did they stop parenting?
Here I am minding my own business, avoiding productivity and looking at facebook when I read MY little sister (who's 13) status that includes the word "a$$". You see how I bleeped that out? Yea.... she didn't! Confusion overcame me....
I used to curse like a sailor when I was 12-14 because I thought I was grown, I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted and WHO was going to tell me different???? WANDA! I cursed when I WASN'T around my mother or any other adult for that matter. I don't curse now but if I did I still wouldn't curse around my mom/grandma/adults because I was taught that is DISRESPECTFUL. I can type "a$$" in my blog b/c I'm a proving a point but I couldn't even do that at 13 without getting slapped. So that makes me ask a few more questions.
4) We have the same mom ........ but different standards/values?
5) We have the same mom ..........but different calibers/definitions of respect?
WHAT IS WRONG HERE???
Listen, I've read that parents do their best parenting with the eldest child but MY LORD what are ya'll doing with the other kids? My sister and cousins get away w/ eye rolls, neck rolls, slamming doors, temper tantrums that I literally FEARED FOR MY LIFE to test the waters with. Instead these new kids out here defending their disrespect saying it's "free speech", an unalienable right <<<< too smart for their own good!
This blog may seem a little harsh but I honestly feel disrespected when I get on facebook and see my siblings and little cousins posting pics w/ their "abs" out, sexual innuendos in status', curse words, vulgar slang, etc. What I want to do is call them and check them BUT I know how to stay in my lane soooo this blog is a warning just to bring it to the parent's attention ...
I see it, other family members see it, it's a bad reflection and I say shut down their facebook, their twitter and take away the smart phones until the learn how to RESPECT their elders and themselves!
I just have a few questions:
1) Where are the parents?
2) When did they stop parenting?
3) Why did they stop parenting?
Here I am minding my own business, avoiding productivity and looking at facebook when I read MY little sister (who's 13) status that includes the word "a$$". You see how I bleeped that out? Yea.... she didn't! Confusion overcame me....
I used to curse like a sailor when I was 12-14 because I thought I was grown, I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted and WHO was going to tell me different???? WANDA! I cursed when I WASN'T around my mother or any other adult for that matter. I don't curse now but if I did I still wouldn't curse around my mom/grandma/adults because I was taught that is DISRESPECTFUL. I can type "a$$" in my blog b/c I'm a proving a point but I couldn't even do that at 13 without getting slapped. So that makes me ask a few more questions.
4) We have the same mom ........ but different standards/values?
5) We have the same mom ..........but different calibers/definitions of respect?
WHAT IS WRONG HERE???
Listen, I've read that parents do their best parenting with the eldest child but MY LORD what are ya'll doing with the other kids? My sister and cousins get away w/ eye rolls, neck rolls, slamming doors, temper tantrums that I literally FEARED FOR MY LIFE to test the waters with. Instead these new kids out here defending their disrespect saying it's "free speech", an unalienable right <<<< too smart for their own good!
This blog may seem a little harsh but I honestly feel disrespected when I get on facebook and see my siblings and little cousins posting pics w/ their "abs" out, sexual innuendos in status', curse words, vulgar slang, etc. What I want to do is call them and check them BUT I know how to stay in my lane soooo this blog is a warning just to bring it to the parent's attention ...
I see it, other family members see it, it's a bad reflection and I say shut down their facebook, their twitter and take away the smart phones until the learn how to RESPECT their elders and themselves!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Distractions
I would like to pour it all out on the table for ya'll .... but I can't or rather I'm choosing not to.
At any rate, I haven't blogged in a while b/c I've been B-U-S-Y!!!!!!!!!!! It has take me like 100 days to read a 40 day devotional smh .... BUT I'm back on the scene now.
I miss having an 80 hour a week distraction.
The word "distraction" gets a bad wrap but the reality of it is .... distractions are often TEMPORARILY needed in life (especially when dealing with love). See distractions that play their role properly keep you from sending regrettable texts, they keep you from thinking about what coulda/shoulda/woulda been, they ensure safety b/c you can't be out busting windows out of cars if you are distracted properly, distractions are a VITAL coping mechanism when used correctly, they are supposed help you trick your mind into believing you are over a person just long enough for your heart to actually move on...
What happens when you fall in love with your distraction ??? DISASTER!!
So I simply wrote this blog to say; "distractions" get it together, quit making yourself easy to love, ... know your role & stay in your lane. Distractees (yea i made this up) .... DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR DISTRACTION!!!!!!!
At any rate, I haven't blogged in a while b/c I've been B-U-S-Y!!!!!!!!!!! It has take me like 100 days to read a 40 day devotional smh .... BUT I'm back on the scene now.
I miss having an 80 hour a week distraction.
The word "distraction" gets a bad wrap but the reality of it is .... distractions are often TEMPORARILY needed in life (especially when dealing with love). See distractions that play their role properly keep you from sending regrettable texts, they keep you from thinking about what coulda/shoulda/woulda been, they ensure safety b/c you can't be out busting windows out of cars if you are distracted properly, distractions are a VITAL coping mechanism when used correctly, they are supposed help you trick your mind into believing you are over a person just long enough for your heart to actually move on...
What happens when you fall in love with your distraction ??? DISASTER!!
So I simply wrote this blog to say; "distractions" get it together, quit making yourself easy to love, ... know your role & stay in your lane. Distractees (yea i made this up) .... DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR DISTRACTION!!!!!!!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Sanity over Stardom
For those that don't know when I was a kid (like 5-9) I wanted to be a superstar! I was in acting, drama, dance, arts,etc classes for those years. *I would tell ya'll ALL about the "Lil Rascal" audition BUT I don't like the story PLUS if you contact my mom, she'll have NO PROBLEM telling you all about it -__-*
Moving on, For a while I would ask God WHY didn't He allow one of my auditions, plays, etc to win me some recognition and lead me to being a child/teenage superstar?????? I felt like with Stardom, I (nor my family) would struggle financially, I'd be set by now and would be able to "give back" to the world with my talent/money.
THENNNNN Today I had a revelation. In lieu of all this Whitney Houston, Lindsey Lohan, & Chris Brown, stuff I realized .... I'd be CRAZY!
Perhaps the reason the Lord didn't let me take that path is because He was protecting my sanity? He didn't have drug addiction, piss poor money management, pornography addiciton, homosexuality, struggling with inner demons, vices & apetities in my PUBLIC/NATIONAL/WORLD testimony. Sade wouldn't be able to handle interviews w/ Nancy Grace, Bill O'Riley, Perez, etc .... I don't do well with people asking me questions [that I don't want to answer] soooo I could see how I wouldn't know how to act with my life in the public eye.
So, I wrote blog for anyone who had/has dreams of becoming a star. Sometimes that interview/audition didn't pan out because the Lord knows what the pressures of stardom will do to your life! We all have our own lives to live and God does grant us the desires of our heart BUT you have to know yourself. Let HIS desires/purpose/testimony for your life trump yours b/c the grass will forever look greener on the other side UNTIL you get over there and realize ..... it was food coloring ;)
FIGHT to find PEACE in His PURPOSE for YOU!
Moving on, For a while I would ask God WHY didn't He allow one of my auditions, plays, etc to win me some recognition and lead me to being a child/teenage superstar?????? I felt like with Stardom, I (nor my family) would struggle financially, I'd be set by now and would be able to "give back" to the world with my talent/money.
THENNNNN Today I had a revelation. In lieu of all this Whitney Houston, Lindsey Lohan, & Chris Brown, stuff I realized .... I'd be CRAZY!
Perhaps the reason the Lord didn't let me take that path is because He was protecting my sanity? He didn't have drug addiction, piss poor money management, pornography addiciton, homosexuality, struggling with inner demons, vices & apetities in my PUBLIC/NATIONAL/WORLD testimony. Sade wouldn't be able to handle interviews w/ Nancy Grace, Bill O'Riley, Perez, etc .... I don't do well with people asking me questions [that I don't want to answer] soooo I could see how I wouldn't know how to act with my life in the public eye.
So, I wrote blog for anyone who had/has dreams of becoming a star. Sometimes that interview/audition didn't pan out because the Lord knows what the pressures of stardom will do to your life! We all have our own lives to live and God does grant us the desires of our heart BUT you have to know yourself. Let HIS desires/purpose/testimony for your life trump yours b/c the grass will forever look greener on the other side UNTIL you get over there and realize ..... it was food coloring ;)
FIGHT to find PEACE in His PURPOSE for YOU!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
A Homeless Heart
Hello World!
Many of you know me to be a very vocal person and I typically have no problem letting people know how I feel when I have a disdain for something [someone]. However, many of you also know that I am on quest, a quest to become a better, more mature person. This has been quite a challenge to hold my tongue in the "Internet realm" and not blog things like "forget that N*gga", "How to sue a hoe", etc. I think I am justified in any stance I take towards this matter BUT as the Bible says, "All things are lawful for me BUT not all things are expedient". So, since I'm on a quest to have peace in my life & be a peaceful voice in the lives of those around me, I'll refrain ;)
This blog is dedicated to those whom the economy has affected in the worst way... the homeless!
I NEVER thought in a MILLION years that I wouldn't have a permanent address. My job requires me to move A LOT so I would send my bank statements, tax forms, phone bills, car notes, etc to my "permanent address" aka my momma house.
We moved into 107 Cheney Ct. when I was in the 7th grade(I hated it b/c Garner was so far from everything) and it was my moms first house! That house saw everything: bday parties, fights, graduation parties, whoopings, tears and every intimate moment a family could share in a 3 level, 4 bedroom home!
The house was foreclosed on Jan 17th.
My heart hurts.
So now my mother and my sister are homeless.
No matter how many times I say it, it doesn't register for me.
Part of my heart wants to move back to NC & figure out a way to take care of my family. Part of me wants my step-dad to step up to the plate & do his job, considering they aren't divorced yet. Part of me wants to fly them out to Iowa to live in my apartment. My mind, heart, soul, are all out of whack.... there is a HUGE vacancy in my heart where "home" used to be... my heart is homeless! My heart hurts & I cry nightly b/c the pain of hearing a 13 year old cry because she wants "to go home" will give you a new perspective on pain. My mom is strong. She was a single parent for 5-7 years, we lived in poverty when I was little, she's a gansta! However, my sister ..... she was Daddy's Princess, shoot, she was the QUEEN! Now, she's a beggar and I know the pains of fiction becoming a harsh reality.
So, I wrote this blog because I used to drive past the homeless man at the intersection of 54 and 55 in Durham & SMH. I used to wonder what it's like for a family to live out of a hotel. I would judge the homeless b/c I thought there was something THEY did that bought that lifestyle on themselves BUT now, I KNOW BETTER. I could have been a series of unfortunate events that lead them to homelessness.
I'm speaking out about this b/c when you see Sade or Wanda or Lafi, or Mrs. Smith & her 3 kids, Mr. Doe & his family ... we will probably be smiling, joking, facebooking, tweeting, etc but you NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR REAL LIFE! This blog isn't for a pity party b/c I KNOW that this is just a test. Without a TEST there is NO TESTIMONY sooo I'm ok w/ that. More importantly when I am balling, I'll buy my mom 4 houses, 1 for each season if she wants...
I just want ya'll to understand that life can sometimes foreclose on your hopes, dreams,& promises. Leaving a vacancy in your heart, mind, & soul. So if you bump into someone who's homeless/heartless, don't judge them, LOVE & PRAY for THEM!
-A Homeless Heart
Many of you know me to be a very vocal person and I typically have no problem letting people know how I feel when I have a disdain for something [someone]. However, many of you also know that I am on quest, a quest to become a better, more mature person. This has been quite a challenge to hold my tongue in the "Internet realm" and not blog things like "forget that N*gga", "How to sue a hoe", etc. I think I am justified in any stance I take towards this matter BUT as the Bible says, "All things are lawful for me BUT not all things are expedient". So, since I'm on a quest to have peace in my life & be a peaceful voice in the lives of those around me, I'll refrain ;)
This blog is dedicated to those whom the economy has affected in the worst way... the homeless!
I NEVER thought in a MILLION years that I wouldn't have a permanent address. My job requires me to move A LOT so I would send my bank statements, tax forms, phone bills, car notes, etc to my "permanent address" aka my momma house.
We moved into 107 Cheney Ct. when I was in the 7th grade
The house was foreclosed on Jan 17th.
My heart hurts.
So now my mother and my sister are homeless.
No matter how many times I say it, it doesn't register for me.
Part of my heart wants to move back to NC & figure out a way to take care of my family. Part of me wants my step-dad to step up to the plate & do his job, considering they aren't divorced yet. Part of me wants to fly them out to Iowa to live in my apartment. My mind, heart, soul, are all out of whack.... there is a HUGE vacancy in my heart where "home" used to be... my heart is homeless! My heart hurts & I cry nightly b/c the pain of hearing a 13 year old cry because she wants "to go home" will give you a new perspective on pain. My mom is strong. She was a single parent for 5-7 years, we lived in poverty when I was little, she's a gansta! However, my sister ..... she was Daddy's Princess, shoot, she was the QUEEN! Now, she's a beggar and I know the pains of fiction becoming a harsh reality.
So, I wrote this blog because I used to drive past the homeless man at the intersection of 54 and 55 in Durham & SMH. I used to wonder what it's like for a family to live out of a hotel. I would judge the homeless b/c I thought there was something THEY did that bought that lifestyle on themselves BUT now, I KNOW BETTER. I could have been a series of unfortunate events that lead them to homelessness.
I'm speaking out about this b/c when you see Sade or Wanda or Lafi, or Mrs. Smith & her 3 kids, Mr. Doe & his family ... we will probably be smiling, joking, facebooking, tweeting, etc but you NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR REAL LIFE! This blog isn't for a pity party b/c I KNOW that this is just a test. Without a TEST there is NO TESTIMONY sooo I'm ok w/ that. More importantly when I am balling, I'll buy my mom 4 houses, 1 for each season if she wants...
I just want ya'll to understand that life can sometimes foreclose on your hopes, dreams,& promises. Leaving a vacancy in your heart, mind, & soul. So if you bump into someone who's homeless/heartless, don't judge them, LOVE & PRAY for THEM!
-A Homeless Heart
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