... letter to my step dad ....: part 3 of Day 24

Let me start out and say, i LOVED my step dad!!!!!!!! My mom met him when i was like 5 & i was SOOO excited to have a DADDY!  I mean he couldn't move without me being there.  He would take me 2 the park, carry me in the house when i fell asleep in the car, read me books, take me everywhere and i loved him with all my heart for being my Dad! .... (until i was about 9) AND THEN MY WORLD CHANGED

I pissed off my cousin off 1 day and she got even by asking me how was it that i was born in 1987 BUT my "daddy" didn't get to America until 1991 ....(her point was to prove to me that he wasn't my dad ... and her point was proven) From that day on, he and I have had a rocky relationship ... i felt like my parents took advantage of the fact that i would believe ANYTHING when i was 5 and told me he was my daddy ONLY to find out it was ALL a lie.  My little brother wasn't MY brother ... he was my 1/2 brother and my little sister wasn't MY sister ... she was my 1/2 sister and I was NOT apart of their "happy family" b/c i didn't have a father!  So, after that day i never truly felt "apart" of him! I lashed out, i stole, i started failing my classes, i was a rebel b/c i was hoping that my behavior would make him leave!  But he didn't.....

Part 1:

I'm going to choose to focus on the positives that my step dad has added to my life 1st:


1) money: my step dad taught me how to manage money, acquire money, and save money


2) He taught me how to think rationally... he used to ask me 1000 questions about my motivations, thoughts, feelings, etc to show me that i shouldn't make decisions with my EMOTIONS (heart) but with my BRAIN!


3) he NEVER treated me like i wasn't his child... I've only heard him call me his step daughter ONCE, and i was like 8

4) he never did anything "directly" harmful to me ... he NEVER abused me, got drunk and drove w/ me in the car, called me names, stole from me <<< which is more than i can say for some people's fathers/step dads so for ALL of that I am EXTREMELY thankful

Part 2:

I can count on 1 hand the number of people  that actually "like" and look at their step-father as their dad .... *clap for them* b/c those men are in the upper eschelon of men in this society.


Real life:
Earlier I said that he NEVER did anything to directly hurt me HOWEVER there are a few things he did that will forever scar my memory of him:

1) Some say the BEST Father is one that loves the child's mother, SOOOO true and in this area he FAILED

Traditional Wedding vows read:
 I,____, take thee,_____, to my wedded _____, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance.

1) Last year my step dad divorced my mother! *insert my NOT shocked face*  My Mother fell in love with this man when he had NOTHING!  She was working 2 jobs and so was he trying to make ends meet.  She got promoted to manager and was making MORE money than him for years....  When i was in my teens he got laid off and was out of work for like 1 year and a 1/2.... Did my mom divorce him? NO she picked up a 2nd job!  So now it's 2010 and she's out of work (b/c of sickness) and he's been making more than her for about 5 years and what does he do ???? DIVORCE aka abandon her.... NOT only that, this man didn't pay for mortgage on the house for MONTHS so the house was in foreclosure and he decided NOT to tell anybody.  Not only did he abandon her, he TRIED to leave her homeless. (so much for "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health")

2) He put his hands on my mother ..... TWICE! ("to love and to cherish" ?????? is that right?) and I tell u what .... when i found out.... death almost did them part (if u catch my drift)

3) So though i applauded him earlier, his behavior over the last 15 years has caused me to say yes thank you for all you've added prior BUT if the COST of knowing you was 18 years of heartache .... I wish my mom never met u #thatisall.