21 ... get some Adele in our life :)

 This song touches my soul.....

I heard, that your settled down.
That you, found a girl and your married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold it back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.

You'd know, how the time flies.
Only yesterday, was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summer haze.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you say:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead", yay.

Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you say:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yay yeh yeah.

Letter to my Cousin

I promised myself that after you died, i would REMIND every1 of who were so that your death wouldn't be in vain.  I miss you Cuzzo.... 

*I read this Letter to my cousin at her funeral*

The UnSpoken Effect of Domestic Violence:

The Loss of My Cousin, My Sister, My Friend –Nneka Talibah Sutton

By: Sade Uniqua Gilbert

November 23^rd 1982 was when your mother had the strength to push you through

She didn’t know then that her baby girl, would tremendously affect this world.

See even though your life was cut short at the hands of someone who claimed love

You now will live on in the lives of those you touched and you can look on from above.

Nneka will see me walk across the stage at UNC-Ch; she will see her mother raise her kids with the same integrity and love that she was raised in.  She’ll see Maya get a diploma in June 2007, and even though in flesh she won’t be here she’ll meet us one day in heaven.

The news and the lawyers may say you died for a number of reasons, but I know the Lord took you, because it was the end of your season.

Even though God’s will is sometimes hard to digest, every woman and man should look at your life as a test.

It’s not a test with A’s, B's, C's, or D’s but a test of never accepting violence domestically.

I know you stayed because of the kids and you hoped things would get better

But seeing it now, I wish you would have left so I wouldn’t have to read this letter.

However, now I have to spread the word, since you are no longer here

Please, never turn your head to domestic violence, nor lend a deaf ear

I wouldn’t ever wish this on anybody’s daughter to have her lying here

I do however wish everyone your honor, strength, and beauty to weather life’s storms

Lord fill us with your joy to help us carry on.

Nneka you’ll never be replaced, we’ll never forget that smile on your face, and I pray for grace and peace to surround everyone in this place.

So that when we leave we never forget her story, and that we go out and teach the world that in all things God shall get the glory!

Day 30 ... the END

Day 30- Who are you? 

I can't believe i am FINISHED w/ this Blog challenge!!!!!!!!!! Thank you to EVERY single person who is read daily/weekly/monthly ... I hope in these 30 days (aka 120 days) you have learned things about me that i wouldn't tell a soul lol I'm excited to be closing this chapter of the blog and i'm ready for the new one around the corner ;) Again, THANK YOU for listening to my Heart's song .... Unique Cadence 

*i'm writing this off the top of my head ... i'm an artist and i'm sensitive about my _____* (badu)

Who am I?

I'm simply complex, passionately calm, commonly unique and a whole bunch of other synonyms and Antonyms.

I am contradiction

I'm the person when you think of when it's time to have game night!

I'm the Spades/phase10/Monopoly Queen

I'm the lady you long for after you realize your ex lacks personality

I talk in Sarcasm

I'm the one who will drive to the end of the world, just to make you see that I LOVE YOU!

I am Love

I'm that feeling you get after life kicks you down and you get up and fight back :) 

I am resilience

I'm the daughter, you've prayer for...

i am intelligent

I'm the one you think of when you can't think of lyrics

I am MUSIC

I'm Me

I'm Sade

Day 29 of 30 ... live. learn. love

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

I learned about:

communication - There was someone in my life that i hadn't talked to since Oct of 2009 and recently i had a conversation with them and it was certainly a freeing experience.  I had forgiven them a LONG time ago BUT I hadn't spoken with them in about 1.5 years.  Within that convo i agreed that communication is best.... I decided that day that if I'm such a good writer THEN I should certainly not pick and choose who/when/where/why to communicate with people, but to communicate with everyone b/c it makes life LESS complicated!

redemption - In life you can make some mistakes in love that you would NEVER imagine.  You can love a person so much that you THINK you could never hurt them to a point where they'll ever question your love for them BUT a couple mistakes later ..... they don't trust you.  When you really, genuinely, love someone, them not knowing IF you love them can cut you deeper than a sword.  At first you don't think you should have to re-prove your love BUT after much consideration..... you realize the trust has to be re-established!  So, I learned this month that it's going to take TIME and lots of EFFORT to prove that ultimately, i do love you!  I love you without hesitation .... So until you "feel my love".... I'll be paying an atonement of love .... redemption

Day 28 of 30 .... changes?

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

How have I changed? I think I'm striving towards my goals of being a better person.  I was a lot more selfish, egotistical, rude than i am now.... I wasn't as confident in my ability to graduate BUT now I am.  I'm definitely more grounded in my faith.  Honestly, i have a LONG road ahead to become the BEST person I can be BUTTTT I'm certainly further along now than before.  

Day 2...Caskets or Roses for Valentines Day...choose LIFE over VIOLENCE

**My cousin's mom wrote this in response to my cousin's death and i think it's FAR better than any blog i could EVER write b/c it's from a mother's perspective.*** 

This is Domestic Violence

by Maya Sutton on Monday, February 14, 2011 at 6:55pm

(about my sister Nneka)-Written by my mother, Claudette Hill

This is domestic violence. My daughter Nneka, mother of 2 young children, was heinously and atrociously stabbed to death by her husband. Six months prior to her death he attempted to choke her to death. She spent that night with me. We took a walk and she showed me the bruises on her neck. I told her to get the children and leave. She had many excuses for staying, one being to not give up her new home. He lured her to him when she stepped out of the shower. He stabbed her when she approached him. While he was stabbing her she told him that “you don’t have to do this” and he continued. He broke one knife off in her and dragged her to the kitchen to get another knife to continue. He assumed his two year old was asleep, but he saw him stabbing her and later tried to awake his mother. He left her naked body on the floor dying with the children in bed while he went to get his passé in her car to make the murder appear gang related. He took money from her wallet for gas. He returned and wrote on the floor in her blood. Again he left with the children in bed supposedly asleep for several hours; he returned at 6:00 and reported a break in. Today is Valentine’s Day and the person who is physically or emotionally abusive probably is giving you a gift and declaring his love for you and promising that it will never happen again. He promised that same thing to Nneka. I spent Valentine’s Day of 2007 picking out my daughter’s pink casket. Don’t let this be you. GET OUT! 

Nneka’s mom.

 http://www.wral.com/news/local/video/1203480/#/vid1203480

Neka Talibah Sutton ... Day 1

I woke up Feb 13, 2007... running late! I normally watched the news so i could see the weather before class.... i skipped that step today.

I was at work study ... Moneika calls/text to see what I'm doing , we concluded we should meet up for dinner (nothing abnormal)

Shortly after... Kisha calls and decides she's going to dinner with Moneika and I (not abnormal)

Shortly after that.... Brittani calls and says she too will be coming 2 my room after we get back from dinner (abnormal)

After i got off at work study, we went to B'Ski's, then came back to HJ North ...

I see Moneika take a call and say "we almost got her there", i go in my room, everybody is sitting around and I'm like let's play family feud .... they all looking around at each other (awkward turtle) They rushed me to eat ... i took a bite of my ski

(as i was chewing my phone rang)

it was my mom .... i answered and said i was busy, and hung up.  My mom calls back, i don't answer, and my friend's tell me to answer .... I'm confused *still chewing*

(I answer the phone)

My mom said "i have something to tell you..." (she's crying) I immediately think "who died".... she says "neka was killed this morning" ... *i spit my food out*

I ask "is she ok? which hospital is she at? Where's Maya? Where's Claudette?" (not realizing killed = dead)....

I tell her there must be some mistake .... she told me it was on the news

I tell Moneika to turn on the tv .... *she turns to the news.....*

I see a helicopter circling Neka's house and saying 24 year old Nneka Wilson was found dead this morning ... they showed a note written in her blood *i became sick*

I told Moneika to turn off the tv ... *she turns it off*

I break down.......it's the kind of hurt when you just want to vomit.... you want to make the world stop b/c EVERYTHING is spinning.....I cried like i had NEVER cried.... i kicked my door, broke the plastic on the back of the door, couldn't make it to the room at the end of the hall .... my friends came and got me out the hallway... i screamed and i yelled..... only to realize an hour later .... my cousin wasn't coming back.....

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1203107/